My new mistress, Fedora.
Fedora is really sweet, you guys. Everything just works. It looks really cool, too. No, that's not my desktop, because on no account am I sharing my Caprice wallpaper with you. Caprice is, like, a goddess, people. Like, totally. All right, then, back to the topic. Linux totally kicks ass, you guys. You can switch between hundreds (hyperbole) of desktops, and for almost every program that Windows has (that actually does something), Linux has like a thousand (hyperbole) similar programs that does it just as well, if not better. Linux users are positively spoilt for choice where applications are concerned. The sweet part is that it is almost infinitely configurable, so you can make it act almost exactly like Winblows if you really wanted to. Or not. You can wrench it and twist it anyway you want. You can grope it anytime you want. You can bend it over and spank it and it will take it unflinchingly. Erm . . . maybe I'm getting a trifle carried away here. Look, the point here is that Linux totally rocks, and not whether I am having an affair with my computer, ok?

So anyway, before you hop onto the Linux bandwagon, there are some things that you should know. Firstly, Linux is a Unix clone. What is Unix? It is an operating system. What is an operating system? Windows 95/98/NT/2000/XP, GNU/Linux, BSD, Mac OS, etc, are all operating systems. An operating system is the environment in which all other programs on your computer runs. Someone once said, "Unix is the answer. But you have to phrase your question very, very carefully."

What does that mean? Well, in the beginning, when Unix was first developed, the target users were supposed to be programmers. It was an operating system built by geeks for geeks, in other words. So the command-line tools tend to be rather cryptic. I can see that the more stupid fucks among you are already dozing off, so I shall keep the geeking out to a minimum. Let's put it this way. Linux is an operating system written from scratch to work exactly like Unix, which means that although it is extremely cool, you have to actually learn how to use it. Still, it's way more user-friendly than it once was. They have GUIs (meaning point-and-click for the stupid) for just about every area of functionality now. What this means is that if you enjoy fiddling around with your computer and finding out what's going on beneath the hood, Linux is the operating system for you. If you're too much of a wuss, however, to learn how to work stuff, you can kiss my ass.

Another bad thing about Linux is that there are few games in the market that are written for it. If you're a hardcore gamer who's considering switching to Linux, you can consider installing an emulator like WineX, which will enable programs written for Windows to run in Linux. Don't ask me how well it works, because I don't know. I'm not much of a gamer, so I haven't tried it yet. As far as I can see, the only valid reason for using Windows is for gaming. There's nothing else Windows can do that Linux doesn't do just as well. Added to that, Linux, for the home user, costs as much as the time taken to download and burn it and the cost of as little as one blank CD-R.

Good luck to all proto-geeks who give Linux a go.  ¶
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