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Monday, May 16, 2005
 
L.E.W.D. Update

Here are some random thoughts that are going through my mind right now.

I am pissed off. Last night I was happily playing my stupid MMORPG with my homies. We were innocently killing players who were weaker than us, when a bunch of players who were stronger than us came along and massacred us. Seriously, what's the gaming world coming to when one can no longer bully weaker players without stronger players intervening? Who the fuck do those guys think they are? Robin fucking Hood? Sir Galahad, perhaps? I am pissed off and I will hence devote even more time to that stupid game so that I can become even stronger and wreak my vengeance on those bastards who killed us last night. I pity the fool who pissed Don A.Q. off, I do (Mr. T). They think the war is off, but I will be back! They will know fear!

Either that, or I will get tired of the game and quit. Whatever.

On the plus side, some gaming pros have joined me. People such as Icebreeze, Injenue, LordStrife and my sworn brother, Ricco. Before you even ask, no, that was not a wrong link. It's Ricco's advertising website. He doesn't blog, so I thought I'd just link his website for kicks. If you're fucking free, go click on his banners and help him make a few cents. Or not. Whatever.

Anyway, the point is that those very (nick)names conjure terror in certain circles, because they are the kind of people who break games. I'm pretty sure they will all level faster than me and we'll soon end up killing a bunch of people, who will then complain to the game masters and get our game accounts suspended. In point of fact, the very reason they joined me in this game is because they got themselves suspended from another game. Man, I sure am looking forward to the fun times ahead. Blood and fire!

The Feisty Bitch got featured on the Sunday Times. The first thought that passed through my mind upon receiving this news was that I should have been the one featured. Seriously, what the fuck? Although her blog is awesome enough, it's not quite as good as mine, is it? I mean, I'm sure we can all agree that my blog is the best blog there is, has ever been and ever will be. Isn't that fucking obvious? Goddammit, I think it must be all the "fucks" and "shits" (and "fucking shits") here. Fucking pansy mainstream piece of shit media.

Ok, I was only kidding, of course. This was actually all part of the LEWD plan right from the start. Yes, the Day grows closer, MUAHAHAHAHA! Well done, Feisty Bitch. You get a Coolness Point for that. On the downside, fellow LEWD member Sheena, despite being interviewed by them, did not get featured, goddammit. If she'd been featured too, perhaps people would have noticed that, hey, both of those sites purport to be members of LEWD, and would have read the Manifesto. Then, hey, more minions!

They probably gave Sheena's blog a miss because her views were too "controversial" for the mainstream media to publish. Seriously, I consider her views to be moderate. I personally think that the current government has been in power for 25 years too long. They should have given up power and crowned me the Divine Emperor Adrian I (blessed be His name) the moment I was born. Sure, I would perhaps have pissed on the hand that crowned me, but you have to "be a man" and "do the right thing" (Russell Peters, go look him up) when a baby who shows as much promise as I did is born.

That's what governing is all about. Doing the right thing (haha!). When I eventually take over the world, I will personally see to it that each and every one of the despotical bastards are executed by prolonged sodomy using massive members. How's that for controversial, not to mention megalomaniacal and flat-out fucking insane? Ok, I'm not too sure about the word "megalomaniacal", but if you choose to be a spelling Nazi, I shall have no choice but to drop a H-bomb on your fascist ass, you sorry piece of shit. Yes, LEWD has recently developed our very own Invisible Pink WMDs, so don't fuck with us. Sorry, Bush and Blair. I was just kidding. We do not have oil WMDs, honest. Please do not send your troops to invade our sunny island. We reserve the right to fall on our faces, sobbing and begging for mercy while defecating and urinating in our pants if you do.

I was also wondering if the Feisty Bitch and myself should at first conceal the fact that we're dating so that, you know, her appeal will increase because of her seeming availability. Then, when guys start proposing to her or some shit like that, I'd suddenly pop out of the woodwork and stuff my dick into their mouths, rocking them back and forth and forcing them to suck it. Ok, I wouldn't do that, but I would perhaps go "Ha! She's mine, you puny bitches! Cry for me! Let me taste the sweet milk of your tears! Let me drown in your despair!" On second thought, the people who would propose over the internet are usually fucking creepy psychos, so perhaps that wouldn't be such a good idea. I have no desire to wake up in the middle of the night to go for a piss, only to see some creepy stalker sitting by my bed, just staring at me. That would probably make me piss my pants.

Just kidding, of course. I would simply kick the bugger's ass, stuff him into the toilet bowl and flush him down. Before you protest, remember that I am thousands of feet tall, and hence my toilet bowl is definitely big enough to flush down any would-be stalker.

Ok, I guess that's it for now. I have to get back to writing my report. Since I have decided to devote more time to gaming and finishing my goddamned report, you can expect less posts from me for a while. However, rest assured that I do have several interesting posts in the pipeline, so expect me back whenever. Have a good time. Or a bad one. Gods, who fucking cares what you do? Just keep checking back here, there's a good dog minion fellow.
 
Comments:
Hey ! WHo give a fuck abt Strait Time any way ?

Ya , ur blog is great so fuck the mainstream !
 
I'm just doing my part for L.E.W.D. :D
 
heh. if you were crowned divine emperor you might have a little dispute with darth sid right there.

nice post mon. be lookin forward to some dope shit in da future. OMFGLOL!!!11
 
I TRIED doing my part for L.E.W.D., but the media ended up being a bunch of pussies. When we take over the world I'll sodomise them all to death with a huge prickly cactus.
 
Shion: Yeah, fuck the media! We ARE the new media!

Feisty Bitch: I'm proud of you, babe. :)

wongcheok: Updates will come next week at the latest (because that's the deadline for my report, heheh).

Sheena: Yes, well, who's gonna be our propaganda machine if they're all dead from sodomy, hmm? Anyway, you got interviewed, which is a good first step. I must come up with a code or something so that you can answer interviews politically correctly, yet have an underlying LEWD message. I'll work on it.
 
Hey, when WE rule the world, we won't need propaganda 'cause our minions will have no fucking say. And even if we do need propaganda, I believe we're smart enough to write our own, hmm?
 
yo dude.. ur time will come.. good things must wait mahh.. no worries.. and if i do get interviewed again, i will try to plug ur blog k..
 
Celle: Haha, no need lah, though I do thank you for the offer. My blog will never get featured on the mainstream media because of its profane content and all the hate. It's enough for me that LEWD members are getting featured. :)
 
Wongcheok:
There will be no dispute. He'd be the emperor of the present blogosphere/Singapore
While I'd still be the Emperor in a galaxy far, far away, where I apparently haven't
massacred every single ewok there is.
 
I bet one of your friends was the one who killed me in Ragnarok Online when I was just walking around and caused me to lose 1% of exp.
 
Sid: That's a witty reply and reaffirms my decision to have you in LEWD.

sb: I doubt it. My friends haven't played wimpy games like RO for 3 years or more. >:)
 
Wimpy? So why is RO wimpy? I'll admit that it sucks, and the online players are fuckers, but....wimpy?
 
sb: graphics are kiddy
 
That, and because of the fact that I've managed to kiss your ass in that post,
methinks.

Hmm...
 
ok, i've broken my promise to myself and started reading blogs for a while, but man, this whole sunday times blog featuring thing pisses me off like shit. mainly because they will never feature my blog, the fuckers, and i think my blog fucking rocks to high heaven and back.

fuckers.
 
Big Fuck: Yeah, I know exactly what you mean, dude. As Ivan said to me and I in turn said to the Feisty Bitch, ours is more of an underground cult following, which is tons cooler than that dumb Sunday Times crap anyway.
 
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Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)


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