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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Fun link of the day: The Drunken Stepfather!

Warning: Contains adult images.

To those going to Zouk, I won't be there all that early. Around 11. I'm just that cool. See ya guys there!

In the immortal words of the Big Fuck, FUCKS YEAH! Man, you know you're somewhere in the blogosphere when someone sets up a blog because he hates you. I Rock, You Suck proudly announces that it has now joined the ranks of websites that have spawned hate sites. No doubt the author of that site will deny that it's a hate site, but whatever. The fact remains that he did set up a blog because of me. May this be the forerunner of many more to come. Shit, what's yesterday's date? I have to fucking buy 4D or something. What a major auspicious occasion! FUCKS YEAH! When I'm the ruler of the world, I shall declare this a public holiday. For setting up my first hate site, you get an Adrian Coolness Point, retardedmanchild. On second thought, if I gave you one, the rest would probably want a refund or something. What I'll do instead is bring you more traffic by plugging you so that more people can see your message and hence realise my true greatness. People who read this blog and like me but are as retarded as that guy is, go ahead and flame him on his blog. People who hate me but still read my blog (i.e. retarded), go ahead and leave him some encouraging comments. I think some evil laughter is in order here.


Big Fuck: Dude, how cool is that? I have a playa haytah! FUCKS YEAH!

I have prepared a list of people I would like to thank for this. The list is in chronological order, i.e. in the order of them doing the stuff I wanted to thank them for, and not in order of importance, except for the first one, of course. Here we go, a shout-out to all my niggers!

1. Donaq

This guy is one cool motherfucker, without whom this blog would never have been possible, since he's the motherfucking author of the blog, hello?

2. The Feisty Bitch

It has been said before that behind every successful blog, there is a woman. In this case, it's a feisty bitch, but obviously the principle still applies. She's the one who lights my cigarettes and rubs my back when I'm busy crapping with my keyboard, among other things. Ok, just kidding. Still, she's an awesome girlfriend to have, a fact which I tend not to acknowledge publicly because I'm so awesomely macho, but this tip of the hat in her direction is long overdue. It probably won't happen again, so enjoy it while it lasts, you twits.

3. Mac (as in the computer, not the fucking fast food funnyman) Geek

Hers was the first popular blog (1000 or so unique hits per day) that linked I Rock, You Suck, and hence I must say that she has impeccable taste. After I got popped by gandhi, my daily hits almost doubled. Man, she kicks ass. Added to that, she's a geek too, which just adds to her asskickery factor.

4. My Former Number 1 Fan

Hers was the second popular blog that linked mine, mostly because she totally thinks my blog is fucking awesome and also because she has a fucking crush on me or something. Just to show the retardedmanchild that Sheena is not actually all that sensitive about her looks when no offence was intended (the fucktard told Sheena to substitute "fat" for "race" in racist jokes and see if it hurts in a comment which I deleted), I shall describe part of our recent MSN conversation. See, my MSN profile picture is a picture of the EXTREMELY HOT Caprice Bourrett in a white bikini. Sheena, being a female and hence a bitch said something like this.

Sheena: Hey, the girl on your profile pic is ugly.
Me: Oi, she's the frikkin Queen of Wallpapers ok!
Sheena: I thought I was the Queen of Wallpapers?
Me: You ar? More like the Filipino Maid of Wallpapers leh.

Naturally the conversation degenerated into a series of "Fuck you, no no, fuck you"s after that, but the point is that Sheena never really got mad because she knew I was only kidding.

5. The Big Fuck

The third popular blog that linked mine, although he wasn't famous at the time. This guy is motherfucking hilarious and everyone should read his blog. So what if he doesn't update much these days? You can still read and reread his previous entries, right? Go fellate him rightaway if you're female and hot, because a guy as awesome as that surely deserves a good blow. Fuckety fuck fuck.

6. The Member Maestro

The fourth popular blog that linked mine, although again, she wasn't famous at the time. This girl must be the quirkiest person on the frikkin planet. I have never seen anyone who can pull such out of whack yet hilarious stuff out of thin air on an almost daily basis. Added to that, she's a hot babe. Rock on, sister! FUCKS YEAH!!

7. profanity

I don't know why she's in this list, but despite her penchant for trolling, she's actually frightfully intelligent (I say this only because she can practically predict what I will say when we're chatting on MSN, and given that great minds think alike, she's by inference a supergenius like me) and she reads my blog, so my ego said, "Look, Adrian. Thank her for reading your blog and feeding your ego lah. After all, this blog was written almost entirely by your ego." So there you go, bitch. Thanks for liking my blog, heheheh.

8. The Saboteur

This fucking asshole was the one responsible for getting me tomorrow-ed. Also, he co-wrote our smashing blockbuster, PubicLicezilla. 'Nuff said.

9. Other people who have had the good taste to link me

Because you guys have good taste.

10. All my other minions readers

Actually, you should all be thanking me instead for adding some colour (mostly yellow) to your boring lives, but whatever.

Yeah, I think that's about it. It's been a good run, guys. Stay tuned for more! FUCKS YEAH!!!

Update: Ok, it seems that there is already at least one other person who hates me who commented on retardedmanchild's blog. Am I really that loathsome?
Honey, I am touched by the special mention you gave me. If anything, I have a bigger crush on you than ever before.

Yeah! You rock! (But so do I, heh. I plugged you.)
Not in order of importance?!?!?!?!?!?!

Tee hee hee!!!

Weak man..

You can't even get proper haters on your hate site!
Sheena: Heh, I'm still not gonna bone you. >:)

Feisty Bitch: Glad you liked it. Now come over and give me a blowjob.

Darth: Come now, is it my fault that the other party is a pussy?
Thanks man, thanks.

If the guy would only post more, he might piss enough people off to be brose.

I've noticed that fool is getting a following or something now.

Ah well, I guess that's cool, too. More love for the rest of the universe.
He's stopped posting, more's the pity.
Muahahaha... my hai ren powers are so l337! Muahahahaha... And yes, it's wonderful to be called a fucking asshole by another fucking asshole. Hahahahaha...
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To Those Who Wish To Link Me:

Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.

Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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