Fuck Y'all If You Can't Take A Joke
If there's one type of person I'm prejudiced against, it's the anti-prejudice people. Ok, I know that I am prejudiced against lots of shit, such as arts fags, Indians, non-Indians, children, adults, animals, plants, copper, other minerals, hydrogen, etc. What was that? Why copper? Man, don't even get me started on copper, ok? Trust me, you don't want to go there. Why hydrogen? Well, what kind of fool element doesn't have neutrons? I mean, seriously. I hate hydrogen. If it weren't for the fact that we need it for water, I'd be trying to undermine the fundamental laws of the universe everyday so that hydrogen cannot exist.
Ok, back to the people who are anti-prejudice in general and anti-racist in particular. I think that they should really unplug their butts and get on with their pathetic lives. I personally am also racist and I proudly admit to being prejudiced against the human race. Seriously, I think that the earth would be much better off if only us gods existed and you humans were wiped out, but that's by the by.
I think those people who are raising a big fuss over that dumb racist scholar are goddamned imbeciles. Racism will never be eradicated. It is a part of human nature to instinctively dislike those who are different from you. You put a bunch of, say, Chinese kids together with like one Caucasian kid and they will most surely pick on the Caucasian kid without even having to think about it. Let's face it, you're all a bunch of fucking jerks. The best you can ever hope to achieve is to make sure that racists do not act on their prejudices. You can bleat about how tolerance is not enough and that there must be acceptance yada yada yada all you want, but it's just not going to happen. You see, you cannot force people to think the thoughts you want them to think. You can only coerce them into doing the things you want them to do. Do I think that the racist scholar should be punished? Whatever. I couldn't care less what happens to that piece of shit. You can execute him for racism, for all I care. He was stupid enough to voice his socially unacceptable thoughts on the fucking internet, and that's a hit-and-a-half for his ass.
What I'm really opposed to are the people who are so anti-racist that they'll bleat "racist" at you just for cracking jokes related to race. Even supposing that acceptance of everyone by everyone is a reachable goal, that's not the way to go about it, you fucking morons. Denial is not acceptance. For there to be true acceptance, we must first acknowledge that we are
different. The best way to do that is through humour. There was a reader of Today who said this.
"One educated Chinese Singaporean told me, after his trip to Calcutta, how "there were too many Indians there" and when I said that was racially insensitive, he said, 'I'm not racist; I have Indian friends'.
"I have encountered countless such comments and I often think, how do we even begin to address such blatant ignorance? People who are racist don't know they are."
Uh, hello, does anyone else agree with me when I say that was almost certainly a fucking joke? Seriously, if cracking racist jokes means you're a racist, then Eddie Murphy, as well as Chris Rock, is racist against both niggers and whites, and Russell Peters (Indian comedian) is racist against Indians. Come the fuck on. You know what's wrong with these anti-racist scum? They're too "sensitive". Here's a clue, maybe if you weren't so desperately trying to be overly nice to people of other races, then they would actually feel comfortable around you. I mean, isn't it normal to make fun of your friends and to want to humiliate them in front of all your other friends? Of course it is. I ripped on my Malay friends in the army, calling them "fucking Mats", and they called my Chinese friends and I "fucking Bengs". You know what that's called? It's called "celebrating our differences". Yes, I'd teach them how to cuss in Hokkien and Cantonese, while they taught me how to tell someone to cook their dickheads in porridge (or something like that) in Malay. We got so good at it that it became a standard gag for us to pretend that we were the Mats (we'd sing Mat Rok songs) and they were the Bengs (they'd kao peh
at us in Hokkien). Seriously, isn't that better than having a plug up your butts all the time and being oh-so-afraid of stepping on conversational mines?
You know what, you're all too fucking sensitive for your own goods, so I'm going to piss you all off and hopefully cause you to rupture a fucking blood vessel, thereby doing the world a favour by removing your dumbass from it, and the way I'm going to do this is to crack a whole bunch of racist jokes.
Q: What do you call it when a bunch of Indians fall off a cliff?
A: Night falls.
There was once an Indian, a Malay and a Chinese sailor whose ship was boarded by pirates. They were the only survivors after the fight, and the pirate chief told them that he would release them if the combined lengths of their dicks exceeded 25cm. Well, the Indian went first. His wang measured 13cm long. Then the Malay went. His schlong was 11cm long. Then the Chinese went, and his miserable member measured a mere 1cm long. They were all visibly relieved, and the pirate chief kept his word and gave them a boat, which they rowed away from the pirate ship. As they were in the boat, the Indian started bragging. "Where would you be if not for my gigantic dick, you pundehs?" The Malay sailor replied, "Sial lah, I contributed too, you know?" The Chinese sailor smirked and said, "If limpeh not erect, you would all be dead!"
Here's a song sung to the tune of "Bengawan Solo":
Bengali one, so long
Chinese one, like sotong
Indian one, so big and strong
Malay one sudah potong (meaning cut, or something like that)
(If I got any of the spellings wrong, sorry, but I don't give a flying fuck)
(If you don't know what that song is about, what are you doing out of your convent?)
Seriously, guys. Lighten up.