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Sunday, April 24, 2005
It's No Good Being Good

Ok, so I changed my nick on MSN Messenger to something like this, right? "Good luck to all my friends who are having exams."

Almost immediately, I got messages from like 20 people on my contact list (who are having exams) that went like this. "Way to rub it in, man," or "You suanning us, right? Bastard." Or "Bah, I'll dance at your funeral, you motherfucker." Honestly, I was just trying to be nice, guys.

You know you're somewhere when even the tiniest nice gesture you try to make is viewed with instant suspicion and cynicism, and that somewhere is probably not a place you should be in. Ah well, fuck it, since I'm destined for damnation, I might as well have fun so that I'll at least have some pleasant memories to ease my future torment. Here's to you cynical bastards.

Go check out Brose's blog. Especially his latest post. It's a diss of all the popular blogs in Singapore, including the Big Fuck's. As a matter of fact, I'm linking this shit mostly because it tickles me that the Big Fuck has come up with the ideal response of plugging a blog written by someone who despises him. There's nothing more irritating than being liked by someone whom you despise. Besides that, I think it's great that someone is dissing everyone and everything and even blogging in an advanced state of inebriation. Wait a minute, that sounds suspiciously like . . . me!

I remember that when I first started blogging about a year ago, I had this jihad or something to show the fucking blogosphere how this shit should be fucking done. Now that I know that no one gives a shit and that most people are too stupid to understand, I've mellowed somewhat, so I'm happy to know that there's someone else who can take over the reins. So, once again, let's welcome the new pissed off blogger on the block, Brose. God, alliterations are awesome. I should have been a fucking rapper or something.

Speaking of the Big Fuck, I was talking to my favourite net friend, let's call her profanity (because uh, that's what she calls herself), and she was saying that she didn't particularly like the Big Fuck's blog or something. I can't remember exactly what she said and I'm too much of a lazy ass to dig out the log just to show you guys. By the way, she's a hot babe. With nice tits (allegedly). Are any of you guys beginning to sense a pattern in my choice of friends here? Anyway, I asked her why, in that case, does she read my blog, since I write about roughly the same stuff as the Big Fuck does, in roughly the same style, more or less, give or take the odd turn of phrase or expression. (It was the least I could do for you, dude.) So she went to give the Big Fuck a second take. Now, what she said when she came back I do remember, because it concerns my ego, and as we all know, that is the most important thing in the fucking universe.

"he is a good writer
quite like you"

Man, I love profanity, and I mean that in both the ways that it can be taken to mean. There's probably a third meaning, but no, I don't mean that. If you didn't understand that, fuck you, because I blog for my own enjoyment and none of you punkass bitches actually matter to me. So there. Just kidding. Some of you do matter, but probably not you. Anyway, I think profanity is sweet, don't you? Of course, she'll hate me for saying that, so I shall add that she's a right bitch as well. There you go, profanity, I hope you liked that.

Anyway, I was trying to get her to start blogging again, because I think she writes well and also has a great sense of humour. She's also highly intelligent, being the only female brain-clone of mine, and her old blog was hugely enjoyable. However, she disappeared offline or blocked me or something, the bitch. If you're reading this, profanity, you probably realise that I'm pandering to your ego only because I want to get you to start blogging again and also because you have nice tits, but whatever.

I was going to paste the testimonial she wrote for me on friendster just to show you guys how funny she is and also how insulting she gets, but the bitch has removed it, goddammit. Oh well.

Since it is the fucking weekend and I'm too busy gaming to entertain you guys further, you'll just have to settle for this short entry. I hope you guys had a nice weekend and all that shit. Au revoir.
All women are bitches, nice tits or not.

Those who claim they are not are just delusional.
Aiyah, I saw that nick, and I was thinking, aw, so nice of you for once.

Here's someone saying thanks for the well-wishes, dude.
funeral...dance...dance...revolution...fuck fuckfuck.


P.S. I just like having an excuse to say fuck.

P.P.S. Yeah, where's your friend with nice tit's blog? I got a vested intellectual interest, leh!
Feisty Bitch: Indubitably so.

Ivan: Thanks for your thanks? Haha.

Big Fuck: You don't need to have an excuse to say fuck. She's deleted her old blog, so too bad for you dude. :p
Oh, can I say Nabeh here? I've said a lot of nabehs recently, so I might as well do it here. Nabeh nabeh nabeh nabeh nabeh nabeh nabeh nabeh nabeh. Nabeh. Nabeh. Ok that's enough.
heuhuehue... i'd believe u if u said 'good luck for exam' to me
i'd thank u..
but i'd also say fuck you for not having one!
Those fingers are too delicate to be yours... Muz be someone else's. -glAd
sb: nahbeh to you too, man.

Celle: Good luck! And don't anyhow fuck fuck, you might contract STD. Oh shit, what did I just say? Eh, I don't have STDs hor.

Gladys: Yah, one of my fans make for me one. Swee bo?
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To Those Who Wish To Link Me:

Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.

Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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