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Saturday, March 20, 2004
Arts fags make good cannon fodder

Yes, I have returned to favour all of you with my brilliance once more. As usual, stupidity has irritated me. It's really a pain sometimes to possess an intellect that all but forces me to perceive the assorted follies of my - dare I say it - fellow man. Sometimes when I look around me, it almost seems as if the... organisms... I see belong to an entirely different species.

Let's see... today I shall talk about arts fags. That's right. All of you fucking smug arty farty types, it's time to wake the fuck up and smell the fucking roses. I'm talking about those stuckup "creative" types who look down their noses at engineers and think that engineers and other scientific types are boring and uncreative. The next time I hear or read another dumb joke about engineers being boring or unromantic from a sneering arts fag, I think I'll puke on him so hard that my nads shoot out of my mouth, just before I show my appreciation of his "humour" with an axe in the face.

Is it ok if scientists are so involved in making sure the world continues to spin that they don't have time to date? Is it ok if engineers are so preoccupied with making sure the internet continues to function that they don't have time to get drunk at clubs and make complete fools of themselves? Is it ok if mathematicians are so busy balancing complicated equations that you arts fags will never understand in a million years that they don't feel like attending this or that "avant garde" play with you lesser mortals? Jeez, get over your fucking selves. These people possess the kind of knowledge and skills that you will never possess. You can stuff cubism, post-modernism and surrealism up your asses. The first arts fag who tells me that I don't know what those words mean will get a huge head butt on their noses because they were too stupid to get the point of this post.

I do have a point, which I shall illustrate with the following scenarios.

Supposing all the snivelling arts fags in the world, including arts students studying some silly arty stuff in whatever shitty arts college teaching that sort of crap along with their overpaid tutors and lecturers, died today. Supposing also that all the books that contained any hint of artistic knowledge whatsoever were destroyed on the same day, what would happen to human societies the world over? Nothing much. We'd save a lot of money for about one generation before the next generation of arts fags grows up and starts painting/writing/acting/singing. Admittedly, due to the total loss of artistic knowledge, the quality of their doodlings would probably be lower than the previous generations'. A great tragedy, to be sure, but the species would hardly suffer much because of it. Nah, I was just kidding. It wouldn't be a tragedy at all, and the overall effect on the species would be zilch.

Now imagine if all the scientists and engineers, along with those training to become scientists and engineers, died today and along with them went all the books on science, engineering and mathematics, what would happen to human society? It would go on normally for about two days before disintegrating into absolute chaos. Computer networks would break down because there would no longer be network administrators to perform daily vital tasks that keep them running. The internet would collapse and teenage arts fags would no longer be able to write stupid blogs, but that would be just about the only good consequence of the situation. Elevators that broke down would remain in that state. Planes, buses and cars that broke down would never move again. You wouldn't be able to catch movies or watch TV anymore because TV networks would be down due to lack of maintenance and so would cinemas, not to mention the fact that reels of film need to be transported by buses, cars and planes. No one would know what a plumb line was anymore, and no one would be able to design structurally safe buildings again. Within a generation, we'd be back in the stone age. Whether we would ever be able to recover from such a setback, god only knows.

So the next time you sneer at all those boring scientists and engineers, you snivelling wastrels, think about this: They keep you alive, you fucking idiots.
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