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Saturday, March 02, 2013
The Idiot of Idiots replied

Whoa. Check this out. Honestly, the day after publishing my previous post, I'd decided that the persona of Don A.Q., the megalomaniac lord of the mostly defunct LEWD, who dissed everything and everyone, was no longer worth the effort of maintaining. Obviously, no one still reads this blog. It would probably be easier to start a new blog and get readers for it than try to get this one back to its former levels of badassery, so I saw no reason to expend time and effort into thinking of new topics to rant about. However, holy fuckballs, this shit is an opportunity that's just too good to waste.

I mean, seriously, it is unrealistically improbable that someone whom I blogged about 9 years ago (when I was actually modestly internet-famous in Singapore) would not have read the post then, but would read it now. I surmise that he was probably led here by a vanity search. At the time, a search for his name might even have turned up that post as the first result. Now, you actually have to go to the second page of search results before you get here. That is some serious narcissism right there. Even I, who once thought I had an ego the size of a planet, have never clicked to the second page, breathless and drooling with anticipation, when I performed a vanity search. Of course, that might have been because when I conducted a vanity search, with the requisite reduced respiratory regularity and strengthened salivary secretions, I usually found myself on the first page.

It is even less likely that someone who thus found a 9 years old post about himself on an inactive blog would actually care enough to respond to it. I mean, after 9 years, whatever I wrote about that person should (considering that people normally mature, or, at least, change, significantly in that amount of time) no longer apply. I have certainly changed since then. To the extent that I would essentially consider myself an entirely different person. After all, every single material component of myself has actually been replaced.[citation needed]

Given the above, I thus decided to resurrect Don A.Q., shambling and moaning, from the grave, one more time. Because you, Lee Mun Wai, deserved every inch of this. This long... hard... reply, smacking you in the face (though I am really doing this to see if I still can, since you probably won't see this until the next time you do a vanity search and click through to the nth page of results). Just for you, Lee Mun Wai, just for you, I have jumped once more unto the breach, and I have a few suggestions for you.

First, ignore trolls. They are energy creatures. Stop feeding them and they die. I mean, unless you enjoy getting insulted, of course. I might never have published another post on this blog, if not for your fortuitous provision of cannon fodder. At this point, you're just fanning the flames, dawg, is what I'm saying here. Life is way too short for it to be spent caring about people who dislike you without knowing you. I mean, for you, that is. I, myself, fully intend to attain immortality and plunge the world into a thousand years of darkness, so I am not only exempt from that advice, I actually need the practice in hating. As an aspiring Evil Overlord, I must never let anything go, for without my wrath, I am nothing.

Second, learn to read. A lot of the stuff you said in your comment made no sense whatsoever as a reply to my post. For example:

only faggots do that right?
I never said "faggots". I said "arts fag". I would never have insulted people based on their sexual orientation. That would have been distasteful to me even 9 years ago. I am evil, not a fucking bigot. The fact that, after reading it wrong, you chose to focus on it as an insult probably says more about you than it does about me.
...validating my irreverent, irrelevant, indecent artistic causes by using tax payers' money.
Eh? Were you high? Or did you actually mean to reply to an entirely different person? Because I never accused you of doing that. One might even see that as a case of 此地无银三百两.


indeed what was i thinking, actually believing that i was doing something important by pursing dance.
Seriously, dude, what were you thinking? Instead of all this indignant rhetoric that does absolutely nothing to dispute anything that I have said, why don't you try explaining how your "pursing"[sic] of dance is important to anyone or anything outside of the sphere of dance? You might actually convince the imaginary people who still love this blog so much that they would monitor all its posts for comments.

Well, that was fun, Lee Mun Wai, but be warned, before you attempt a comment, that I don't anticipate you being capable of articulating a reply interesting enough to merit another response from me. It's possible, but unlikely. Feel free to try, though, if you don't mind being ignored, and I will see that whatever harebrained comment you manage to cobble together is published, if not responded to.

p.s. Why email, when I can publicly ridicule?

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Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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