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Monday, April 07, 2014
 
14 Things Villains Do

 
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
 
Oblivion is shite

Oblivion is shite. The reveal that the alien was an AI followed by the movie ending sucked balls. Who built the fucking AI? Where are they now? I want answers! I watch/read science fiction for the ideas, and there was precious little of it here. Also, plot holes galore.

1) If the alien HAL (yes the whole thing was like an inferior homage to 2001: A Space Odyssey) was unable to completely excise memories from the brains of its clones, how could it have made an army of them exterminate humans on earth? One would have thought that, at some point, at least some of them would have wondered what they were doing killing, like, all the humans. If it was able to completely excise memories, why did it leave memories of Olga intact in the technicians?

2) Given that HAL was capable of creating an army of human clones that were willing to wipe out humanity, what was the fucking point of hiding the existence of other techs from the techs and weaving a convoluted story about migrating to Titan? This just makes it a) possible for them to accidentally chance upon each other and realize that some huge con was going on, and b) isolated and unable to help each other when shit hit the fan.

3) Once Tom Cruise was no longer part of an "effective team", why would his bubble jet thingy still work? One would imagine a superior alien AI would have been capable of building machines with some sort of override mechanism. Even I, an inferior human intelligence, am capable of thinking up the devious ploy of letting Tom get on the plane with Olga, then disabling the manual controls and bringing them to the Tet by remote control (even if it were too far away to control it directly, why could a drone not have done it?), thereby rendering the whole chase scene unnecessary.

4) How the flying fuck could it have been possible for Tom to outmaneuver the drones anyway? They are machines. They are capable of nanosecond reactions and pulling Gs no human could possibly tolerate. WTF?

5) The "scavs" are well-organised enough to put out sentries. We've seen this. We've even seen the sentries destroying a drone. So why, after the Second Coming of Cruise to the base, was there no advance warning of the drone attack that wiped out, like, 90% of all the scavs? Especially bearing in mind that the arrival of Cruise could only mean that he had defected and the probability of retaliation had significantly increased? Were all the sentries going like, aww man, let me see his purty face! And did Morgan Freeman just go like, ah what the hell, I'm sure the drones won't attack us now that one of the Tom clones, the only humans familiar with alien HAL technology and who thus poses a greater threat than all the rest of us combined, has defected? Seriously, put out more sentries, man. And set some booby traps or something. Mind-boggling incompetence. It's a wonder they weren't wiped out sooner.

6) One would imagine a superior AI would have taken the precaution of screening the bubble jet thoroughly for, oh, I don't know, enough weapons-grade radioactive material to completely obliterate a giant spacecraft before letting it enter the ship. Also, why not tell Tom to open the coffin thingy immediately after entry to ensure that no Morgan Freemans were brought into its presence?

7) For that matter, why bring the defective clone into its presence at all? It's not like there was a shortage of Tom clones. Command the Tom clone to release the coffin and then kill him. Since he said that he has brought Olga on board to ensure the survival of her and the human race, he should be OK with that. Why not take him at his word and blast him? If he was unwilling, just blast them both to be on the safe side.

8) Why were the clones necessary at all if HAL only desired water? Just nuke the shit out of humanity, then take the fucking water from a sterile planet.

9) Why come to earth at all? Just harvest the water from asteroids incapable of fighting back.

10) Why bother with water at all? Just orbit the sun for a while and soak up all the solar power it needs.

I have no idea how anyone could possibly have enjoyed a movie with so many glaring inconsistencies. Oh, and there are spoilers so that you don't have to sit through it.

YOU'RE WELCOME

 
Saturday, March 02, 2013
 
The Idiot of Idiots replied

Whoa. Check this out. Honestly, the day after publishing my previous post, I'd decided that the persona of Don A.Q., the megalomaniac lord of the mostly defunct LEWD, who dissed everything and everyone, was no longer worth the effort of maintaining. Obviously, no one still reads this blog. It would probably be easier to start a new blog and get readers for it than try to get this one back to its former levels of badassery, so I saw no reason to expend time and effort into thinking of new topics to rant about. However, holy fuckballs, this shit is an opportunity that's just too good to waste.

I mean, seriously, it is unrealistically improbable that someone whom I blogged about 9 years ago (when I was actually modestly internet-famous in Singapore) would not have read the post then, but would read it now. I surmise that he was probably led here by a vanity search. At the time, a search for his name might even have turned up that post as the first result. Now, you actually have to go to the second page of search results before you get here. That is some serious narcissism right there. Even I, who once thought I had an ego the size of a planet, have never clicked to the second page, breathless and drooling with anticipation, when I performed a vanity search. Of course, that might have been because when I conducted a vanity search, with the requisite reduced respiratory regularity and strengthened salivary secretions, I usually found myself on the first page.

It is even less likely that someone who thus found a 9 years old post about himself on an inactive blog would actually care enough to respond to it. I mean, after 9 years, whatever I wrote about that person should (considering that people normally mature, or, at least, change, significantly in that amount of time) no longer apply. I have certainly changed since then. To the extent that I would essentially consider myself an entirely different person. After all, every single material component of myself has actually been replaced.[citation needed]

Given the above, I thus decided to resurrect Don A.Q., shambling and moaning, from the grave, one more time. Because you, Lee Mun Wai, deserved every inch of this. This long... hard... reply, smacking you in the face (though I am really doing this to see if I still can, since you probably won't see this until the next time you do a vanity search and click through to the nth page of results). Just for you, Lee Mun Wai, just for you, I have jumped once more unto the breach, and I have a few suggestions for you.

First, ignore trolls. They are energy creatures. Stop feeding them and they die. I mean, unless you enjoy getting insulted, of course. I might never have published another post on this blog, if not for your fortuitous provision of cannon fodder. At this point, you're just fanning the flames, dawg, is what I'm saying here. Life is way too short for it to be spent caring about people who dislike you without knowing you. I mean, for you, that is. I, myself, fully intend to attain immortality and plunge the world into a thousand years of darkness, so I am not only exempt from that advice, I actually need the practice in hating. As an aspiring Evil Overlord, I must never let anything go, for without my wrath, I am nothing.

Second, learn to read. A lot of the stuff you said in your comment made no sense whatsoever as a reply to my post. For example:

only faggots do that right?
I never said "faggots". I said "arts fag". I would never have insulted people based on their sexual orientation. That would have been distasteful to me even 9 years ago. I am evil, not a fucking bigot. The fact that, after reading it wrong, you chose to focus on it as an insult probably says more about you than it does about me.
...validating my irreverent, irrelevant, indecent artistic causes by using tax payers' money.
Eh? Were you high? Or did you actually mean to reply to an entirely different person? Because I never accused you of doing that. One might even see that as a case of 此地无银三百两.

Third:

indeed what was i thinking, actually believing that i was doing something important by pursing dance.
Seriously, dude, what were you thinking? Instead of all this indignant rhetoric that does absolutely nothing to dispute anything that I have said, why don't you try explaining how your "pursing"[sic] of dance is important to anyone or anything outside of the sphere of dance? You might actually convince the imaginary people who still love this blog so much that they would monitor all its posts for comments.

Well, that was fun, Lee Mun Wai, but be warned, before you attempt a comment, that I don't anticipate you being capable of articulating a reply interesting enough to merit another response from me. It's possible, but unlikely. Feel free to try, though, if you don't mind being ignored, and I will see that whatever harebrained comment you manage to cobble together is published, if not responded to.

p.s. Why email, when I can publicly ridicule?

 
Friday, February 01, 2013
 
I'm back! Yay, me

I have decided to start blogging again. I am in no way doing this for you, humble reader, so do not get too excited. The real reason is that, after reading some of my old (but totally fucking brilliant) posts today and comparing them to what I have written in other contexts recently, I have noticed a marked decrease in the quality of my writing. Yes, yes, I am no longer as perfect as I once was, but I am still a damn sight smarter, more talented and just plain better looking than most of you schmucks out there, so get over it. Anyway, practice makes perfect, and I need practice, so here I am.

This time round, I plan to do less geeky posts, because apparently that makes it less "accessible" to the hoi polloi. I have no idea how long I will stick with this, but hey, enjoy it while it lasts. Or cower in fear because the Beast is back. Whichever. More updates soon, but do not hold me to a schedule.

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Wednesday, December 29, 2010
 
Divisible by 6 or 7 but not both

I saw this student posting a problem on her blog and decided to have a go at it in Java. The problem is to print out the numbers below 100 that are divisible by either 6 or 7 but not both. The naive solution is to just loop through all the numbers below 100 and test them using the % operator. However, that might be inefficient if the limit was, say 10000000 instead of 100, so I tried to do it without using the modulus operator. It turns out that there wasn't really that significant a difference below 100000000. Ah well, here's the code anyway.

public class SixSeven{
public static void main(String args[]){
int adder=1;
int six=0;
int seven=0;
int limit=100;
while(six six+=6;
seven = six + adder;
if(six>limit||seven>limit)
break;
if(adder==7){
adder = 1;
continue;
}
System.out.println(six);
adder++;
if(adder==7)
continue;
System.out.println(seven);
}
}
}

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
 
On what I will do before I start at the next job

I have actually been a big fan of Heath Ledger's since "10 Things I Hate About You", but I think this was still a funny conversation.

Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: but i'll likely start in feb
which leaves me with one week break
something i haven't had since i graduated!
woohoo!

JaDe: that's so nice...
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: yeah it is
i can finish up some stuff i've been putting off
like my album and novel
:p
oh, almost forgot my epic feature film

JaDe: who are you working with?
are you doing avatar II or something

Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: nah, something grittier
heath ledger begins
a reboot of the heath ledger story
starring christian bale as heath ledger
it's gonna be awesome

JaDe: what
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: there's this part where christian bale plays heath ledger playing the joker in dark knight
JaDe: christian bale does not make heath ledger
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: "who plays christian bale playing batman?" u ask?
adam west, of course
:p

JaDe: ahahahahha that's gonna be awesome
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: yeah
we're gonna have the "POW" and "BAM" stuff
only the latest in special effects for my baby

JaDe: are you aiming for oscards
ocars*
aarahrgahrgahggghh OSCARS

Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: lol
JaDe: stupid fingers
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: i'm pretty sure it'll sweep the awards
JaDe: sure
just invite me to the premier

Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: needless to say the film will be based on my novel and the soundtrack will be from my album
i'm just worried the universe might collapse because it wasn't built to contain that level of awesome

JaDe: hahah
well arent you afraid
if the universe collapses
where will you be?

Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: it's a concern
i'm hoping to get chuck norris to maintain the structural integrity of the universe with his beard

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Monday, August 24, 2009
 
Physician, heal thyself!

Hmm, I saw this post in the morning. While I am not a fan of the national rag myself, in this instance, mainstream journalism clearly got their facts right. So I wrote this comment on his blog.

"Free software does not equate to open source. One good example of free software that isn’t open source include Google Docs, or pretty much most of the Google Apps. Please editor, check Wikipedia the next time something like this lands on your desk."


Ah, actually, the author could have been using "free software" the way the FSF uses it. While not precisely synonymous with the term "open source" as defined by the OSI, it's pretty close.

Ironically, you could have found this information on the wikipedia article on free software. :)


Even more ironically, it was moderated. One would have thought that someone railing about the lack of journalistic quality in mainstream media would have been less quick to censor on his own blog, but that's by the by. The primary irony here was that he actually committed the sin he accused others of (not checking his facts). Physician, heal thyself!

[Edit]
Oops, my nerd rage was too hasty. Apparently the guy's blog is hooked up with Twitter, which was why some comment originally posted on Twitter appeared on the blog but the comment I posted on the blog did not appear. My bad. Sorry, motochan.

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009
 
I have a dirty, dirty mind

So the Zii has finally been released. I took a look at their OS overview and saw the following picture. Immediately, I thought that it plays pr0n out of the box.


Seriously, though, it seems like a cool piece of technology, so go check it out. Also, please donate US$399 to my Beer Fund so I can get one of those. Come on, people, this is no time to be stingy, KTHXBYE.

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Friday, July 24, 2009
 
Can you code?



Heheh, this made me snigger a little.

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Wednesday, July 08, 2009
 
His name was Michael Jackson

This has got to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.

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Laughing at the cosmic gag reel since March '04!

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Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.


Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)


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