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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I have actually been a big fan of Heath Ledger's since "10 Things I Hate About You", but I think this was still a funny conversation.
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: but i'll likely start in feb
which leaves me with one week break
something i haven't had since i graduated!
woohoo!
JaDe: that's so nice...
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: yeah it is
i can finish up some stuff i've been putting off
like my album and novel
:p
oh, almost forgot my epic feature film
JaDe: who are you working with?
are you doing avatar II or something
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: nah, something grittier
heath ledger begins
a reboot of the heath ledger story
starring christian bale as heath ledger
it's gonna be awesome
JaDe: what
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: there's this part where christian bale plays heath ledger playing the joker in dark knight
JaDe: christian bale does not make heath ledger
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: "who plays christian bale playing batman?" u ask?
adam west, of course
:p
JaDe: ahahahahha that's gonna be awesome
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: yeah
we're gonna have the "POW" and "BAM" stuff
only the latest in special effects for my baby
JaDe: are you aiming for oscards
ocars*
aarahrgahrgahggghh OSCARS
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: lol
JaDe: stupid fingers
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: i'm pretty sure it'll sweep the awards
JaDe: sure
just invite me to the premier
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: needless to say the film will be based on my novel and the soundtrack will be from my album
i'm just worried the universe might collapse because it wasn't built to contain that level of awesome
JaDe: hahah
well arent you afraid
if the universe collapses
where will you be?
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: it's a concern
i'm hoping to get chuck norris to maintain the structural integrity of the universe with his beard
Labels: funny
Friday, July 24, 2009
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
This has got to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.
Labels: funny
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Check out this picture.
I saw someone who said she would date Wolverine and went to all the trouble of changing my display name just so I could crack this joke. And yes, I have two gtalk accounts who are in each others' contact lists.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
So I'm considering joining this programming competition, and I was talking to a friend about it. She's considering joining too, so here's the conversation that ensued...
Friend: hope to see u too, if i;m joining
Friend: ahhahaha
Don AQ®: gold ÷ 100 = 忍: hahaha if you're joining too i hope u die
As you can see, I am not big on the sportsmanship. Now, where did I leave my can of arsenic?
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Hacker News has recently been renamed to Innocuous News by Paul Graham, because someone complained that he kept getting weird looks from people who thought he was a computer criminal. This is the sort of quaint hacker humour that keeps me going back to it everyday.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
So I failed my driving test today, and I was talking about it with one of my bros.
(07:34:56 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: lol
(07:34:59 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: epic fail!
(07:35:17 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: grand total of 38 points!
[Ed: 20 points and above for the driving test means failure. As can be seen, I was way beyond that.]
(07:35:46 SGT) Friend: what 38 points?
(07:36:03 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: i suspect 史上最强！1
(07:36:12 SGT) Friend: Ohhh
(07:36:15 SGT) Friend: ur driving!
(07:36:17 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: cfm!
(07:36:25 SGT) Friend: cfm 38 is godlike
(07:36:31 SGT) Friend: i suspect u killed someone
(07:36:47 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: i got off easy actually
(07:36:54 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: the instructor failed me but kept quiet
(07:36:59 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: we buried the body together
(07:39:03 SGT) Friend: haha 30 points for 1 kill
(07:39:08 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: yeah!
(07:39:13 SGT) Friend: i suspect u did more than just killing someone
(07:39:25 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: cfm i reversed to make sure he's dead
(07:39:30 SGT) Friend: u kill + reverse onto his body
(07:39:33 SGT) Friend: + 8 points
(07:39:41 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: cfm
(07:39:43 SGT) Friend: hahaha
(07:39:48 SGT) Friend: u power
(07:39:51 SGT) Friend: but fear not
(07:39:57 SGT) Friend: i failed 2 times also
(07:39:59 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: i already booked may 7th
(07:40:07 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: u failed twice or took twice?
(07:40:12 SGT) Friend: 3rd pass
(07:40:19 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: but i suspect u cannot beat my high score
(07:40:34 SGT) Friend: legend has it the best drivers pass after the 2nd attempt
(07:40:44 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: lol yeah!
(07:40:49 SGT) Friend: ur high score takes a man to do it
(07:41:03 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: are they the ones who are called 烈火战车！2
(07:41:09 SGT) Friend: 38 is like A*
(07:41:23 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: i suspect the test is /40 only
(07:41:27 SGT) Friend: cfm they are all future F1 drivers
(07:41:34 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: i missed full marks by 2 points!
(07:41:56 SGT) Friend: normally after 30 points they will take over the wheel cos u r a hazard on the road
(07:42:12 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: lol
(07:42:13 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: actually
(07:42:13 SGT) Friend: he give chance let you drive back liao
(07:42:21 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: i think this tester too yim zim
(07:42:33 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: i nv make tt many mistakes i think
(07:42:38 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: maybe he see my hair beh song
(07:42:41 SGT) Friend: haha he dun like you lar
(07:42:48 SGT) Friend: cfm ur afro
(07:42:52 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: cfm
(07:43:05 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: i suspect i must wear terrorist mask next tp
(07:43:11 SGT) Don AQ®: Epic fail!: kk later
1Means "strongest in history". It's an Asian thing.
2Literally: Fierce fire war vehicle. It was a HK movie a lot of Chinese dudes of my generation liked.
Labels: funny
Friday, January 23, 2009
Yes, you heard me. --> RequestProcessorFactoryFactory
Remember kids, this is what happens to your brain when you do Java.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
This is one for the history books.
<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”
<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.
Labels: funny
Friday, January 02, 2009
Saw this hilarious post recently. I'd duplicate the post, but you're not worth the effort.
Labels: funny
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
My friend and I were talking about long job titles and how there seems to be a generally inverse relationship between the length of a person's job title and his actual ability. We also observed that if your job title doesn't tell people what you actually do, then you're probably not doing much. Take, for instance, the title Deputy Assistant Vice President. I remarked, upon hearing this title, that it's like Number 2 of Number 2 of Number 2, since that's more or less what the words "deputy", "assistant" and "vice" means. You might as well call the job Vice Vice Vice President.
We then came up with the following.
vice(degree){
if(degree==0)
return "president";
return "vice " + vice(--degree);
}
So in this case "vice(3);" would be the title of the guy above.
I think we can all agree that this is a more efficient method (method, get it? haw haw haw) for expressing such titles.
p.s. I am a software programmer, which means I get paid to think about stuff like that.
p.p.s. Yes, I know an iterative function would be more efficient usually, but recursive functions are just cooler.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I found this article absolutely fascinating and hilarious. Beyond the trappings of manic humour, however, there are some pieces of arcane technical knowledge to be gleaned from there. Take this C snippet, for instance.
int arr[2] = {1,2};
int i = 1;Now, what is the value of i[arr]? Yes, it seems obvious to me now, but I was a little surprised to find that gcc accepted it.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
I was talking with a friend just now, and he had just completed his National Service (the mandatory 2-year
Punchline: I'll pay you to not sleep with me, dude.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
So my friends and I were talking about buying an island. I decided that if I bought an island and it was situated beside an inhabited area, I'd start digging deep. Hopefully, I'd eventually hit the mantle and woohoo! Lava! Imagine the surprise of the nearby residents when they suddenly find themselves living beside a FUCKING LIVE VOLCANO.
That would be so tits.
Labels: funny
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Be there or be square, bitches.
Here's another example of why my friends hate me. There he is, telling me about some serious work he did, and here I am going Chuck Norris on him.
(09:27:27 SGT) CY aka Big Guy: yesterday i downloaded the whole live folder of **** website..
(09:27:34 SGT) Don AQ®: 黄美珍 has an epic voice.: u power
(09:27:38 SGT) Don AQ®: 黄美珍 has an epic voice.: wtf for?
(09:27:48 SGT) Don AQ®: 黄美珍 has an epic voice.: yesterday i downloaded the internets!
(09:27:57 SGT) CY aka Big Guy: fucking took 3 hours
(09:28:23 SGT) CY aka Big Guy: and there is a lot of rubbish
(09:28:27 SGT) Don AQ®: 黄美珍 has an epic voice.: i have the internets stored on my hard drives bitch!
Monday, September 08, 2008
My friend showed me this hilarious piece just now. I do so admire a man who speaks his mind.
