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Saturday, June 17, 2006
Why not a superbug?

Once upon a time, two friends were chatting on the net. Suddenly, a weird insect bit one of them.

This pissed off the one who had gotten bitten immensely. Why, he wondered, if he was going to be bitten, could it not have been by some sort of radioactive superbug?

So, they got to talking about what type of bug they would like to be bitten by. One of them suggested moths, as moths give off pheromones that could be used to attract all the hot chicks. The other then said that he would more likely end up attracting all the hot moths instead.

Besides, how could Mothman save the world? He couldn't even operate at night, because he would only get distracted by street lamps.

So, they decided that maybe Mothman was not such a good idea, after all. One of them then suggested fleas, because fleas can jump more than 80 times their own height. For a person with a height of 1.8 metres, that would mean a jumping height of 144 metres.

However, for a person with a weight of say, 70Kg, falling from a height of 144m would mean impacting the ground with a huge splat.

The two friends, however, agreed that the idea of a superhero who could leap tall buildings with a single bound was just too good to give up. Our two intrepid superhero designers were hence determined to find ways to circumvent this problem.

(02:15:38 AM) Ivan: unless we had a way to cushion the impact
(02:15:40 AM) Ivan: hmm...
(02:16:04 AM) Don AQ®: pillows
(02:16:09 AM) Don AQ®: lots and lots of pillows
(02:16:18 AM) Don AQ®: u put them on ur arse
(02:16:30 AM) Don AQ®: then u jump very high and land on ur arse

They agreed, however, that strapping a huge pile of pillows to the hero's arse would quite likely affect his balance and hence make it a tad difficult for him to actually land on his arse, much less fight crime. Furthermore, it would look undignified.

Then, they came up with the perfect solution and, with it, the perfect superhero moniker for their hero. Put the pillows on the hero's head and have him aim to land headfirst whenever he makes a leap.

The following part was taken from Ivan.


Yes, once again, from the same sick twisted minds that brought the horror and abomination that was PubicLicezilla, comes the latest superhero to hit town: Pillowhead.

I have a feeling this will hit the jackpot. Marvel, Dark Horse and DC Comics will be fighting to buy over the franchise. Donaq and I will be behind the newest superhero phenomenon to sweep the world. Superman, Spiderman, Batman, X-Men, and all the other has-beens will be forgotten as Pillowhead swiftly becomes everyone's favourite superhero. And not just the comic book tie-ins; there will be the graphic novels, the animated series, the movies, the merchandise. We will be rich! Muahahahaha...

OK. I need a reality check.

Adrian and I talk about the most random, most silly shit when we chat online. I still think Mothman would make a nice character, if only for comic effect.

Like the following, where Mothman's weakness proves to be the downfall of an entire city.

Or say, Captain Mayfly! He's a mutated mayfly that emerged one fine day. He then performs heroic feats that save the world (no mean feat for a tiny fragile insect that has no mouthparts, a non-functioning digestive system, and where the adult stage lives for just a single day or two), gets himself laid, and then he dies before sunset. But then his legacy will live on in his children, as they hatch and then continue the family tradition of saving the world one day at a time. Ha.
Bo liao..
Feisty Bitch: Thanks dear.
I am an idiot.
I make love to little boys and grannies.
LOL... the crap we talk about whenever we chat online...

We must come up with an anti-hero, a villain for Pillowhead. :p
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Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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