Shout out to Best Female Buddy Ever
So I went clubbing on Wednesday night with a coupla bros
. I thought the company could do with a little female company, so I sweet-talked The Legendary Cyprus
, whom I shall henceforth refer to as TLC, into going. The poor dear had just finished her lessons when I contacted her and, sweet thing that she was, she agreed, after I applied some gratuitous ass-kissing, to join us. Best. Female. Buddy. Ever.
What? Oh. Basically, I offered to shake my ass at her.
Trust me, guys, that works every time.
Yes, I'm serious. I actually offered to shake my ass at her. I'm kidding, however, when I say that's what convinced her to go. Yes, I know that's hard to believe, because who could resist my magnificent ass, right?
Anyway, when she arrived, I was once again convinced that she was My greatest gift to mankind. As generous as she is smokin' hot, she not only came out in the middle of the night to party with us, she fed me alcohol and cigarettes as well. Best. Female. Buddy. Ever.
And not only that, the girl sure knows how to party. After my boys and I first reached the club, we sat down and started drinking. It was boring music. Just before TLC arrived, we had finally been reduced to shooting pool to pass the time. After she arrived, the atmosphere automagically transformed into PARTAAAAAYY. After forcing alcohol into my veins, she started dancing. Man, that girl can dance
. Best. Female. Buddy. Ever.
Thanks for coming down, babe, and singlehandedly lifting the party out of the rut with an effortless wave of your dainty little hand.