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Sunday, October 08, 2006
Divine Intervention

Everybody is going "fuck fuck fuck" about the haze, but I'm walking around with a beatific smile on my face. Know why? Because now everybody is sucking in second hand smoke, that's why. Yes, you motherfuckers, your actions against the sanctity of cigarettes has pissed off the God of Smokes and he has sent this smog to show you who's who in the book of fucking what. You can ban smoking in coffeeshops, but you can never ban smoke itself, so suck on my balls, you anti-smoking scum! Better yet, suck on the haze, motherfuckers! Tell you what, since you're all so fucking health-conscious, why don't you get the government to go bomb the shit out of Indonesian farmers? I don't know how toxic this haze is, but surely it ain't too good for your lungs, huh?

Hey, why don't you guys hold your noses, roll your eyes and walk away from this one, eh? Oops, you can't because it's everywhere! Breathe the smog or die, bitches! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

If this post pissed you off, you know what?

Not that I am for smoking. But I see this post as rather funny. To add to the fun factor, maybe NEA can ask our neighbours to draw yellow boxes in their forest to limit the "smoking zone".
Funny, because i was thinking of telling my neighbour, who closes his family's windows and then smokes in their corridoor, that now he will know what it's like when people are inconsiderate assholes.

since you think nothing of smoking in front of people who don't want a ton of tar, nicotine and rat poison in their lungs, why not smoke in front of your mother, grandparents, baby cousins and in your future, your pregnant wife? please light up if you ever have to visit anyone in hospital.

I expect that you're not doing anything like shutting your window or increasing your airconditioning; since you like smoke, why buy ciggies? Just open the window and smoke, moron. If an entire forest's worth of smoke doesn't give you a kick, what will?

The thing that pisses me off about most smokers is that the others get the bulk of the smoke because smokers hold their cig AWAY from them (can you imagine the irony? want to smoke but don't want their own second hand smoke), and in HDB flats, they smoke in the balcony, and in the corridoor so as to protect their own family. Surely you can't deny this.
Well, I'd get a bigger kick if it was an entire forest of weed that was burning. In fact, that would give everyone in the fucking country a nice high. Man, I get a huge boner just thinking about it.

Anyway, I hope ranting about a blog post made you feel better. I do believe the PSI has already dropped drastically because of it. Ooh, you're really getting things done, aren't you? Mad props to you for nothing.
Duh, I also assume that by blogging happily about the haze, and thus indirectly comparing nincompoop smokers to plantation farmers in Indonesia,

you've just reversed the laws in Sg and the US of A prohibiting people to smoke in public places!
Nope, but the post did accomplish precisely what it was meant to accomplish, heheheheh.
yup, demonstrated your stupidity.
Yes, that was, of course, my purpose all along. To demonstrate my own stupidity. There ya go, Sherlock. Solved the case again!
you have really pretty nails.
I wish I could take credit, babe, but a reader made that picture for me.
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The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
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Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
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Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
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Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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