I rock, you suck
Donate to my Beer Fund

If you enjoyed/hated my blog/have money to burn/are crazy, why not give me your money?
All you have to do is click on the button above.
No? Well, go on to the posts below, then, you prick.

Sunday, June 10, 2007
Wedding speeches

Yesterday, I attended a friend's wedding dinner. You know how at one point in most weddings, the bride and groom get to say something to all their guests? Usually, they say something mushy, like "I'm so lucky to have her" and all that shite. Well, I got to thinking about what I would say in the unlikely event that some devious witch actually manages to trap me. One can never be too prepared, you know? So here's what I came up with.

1) She's really lucky to have me. Man, I wish I was as lucky as her.

2) When I met this girl, I thought she must have been the most beautiful girl in the world. This has taught me something. Never pick up chicks when you're drunk.

3) Man, that fake pregnancy sure worked for her, eh?

And of course, this is the most likely.

4) When my wife first told me that she was pregnant and I answered, "So what you gon' do? Is it even mine?" She could not have made me happier than when she answered, "I'm gon' have this baby whether you like it or not and you gon' have to look after us both, motherfucker."

This reminds me. I have got to get a vasectomy.
LOL... She's so gonna divorce you the next day! XD
Haha, we can all hope so. I'd make a terrible husband.
Nice. Can't wait to see the lucky witch who traps you.
Haha. I could stand to wait a little longer.
Well, I fear for your vas deferens
Not to worry, I have BALLS OF STEEL®.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

Laughing at the cosmic gag reel since March '04!

L.E.W.D (click to know more):

Fred And Phil


Hot Babe Blogs:

Other Blogs (that are not quite as good as mine):


Recent Posts:


To Those Who Wish To Link Me:

Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.

Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

Powered by Blogger

Ablewise.com Free Classifieds - The Online Classifieds Solutions (TM)

free dating sites

Get custom programming done at GetACoder.com!