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Tuesday, June 08, 2004
 
The sweetness of Linux and the Hollywood of yore

Go look at this picture.
Like, Dilbert kicks ass. Like, totally.

I just watched First Blood, the first Rambo movie, on DVD. They just don't make movies like they used to. Anyway, about DVDs and DVD-ROMs, what the fuck is up with region encoding? It's fucking stupid. Ok, for those of you chumps who know nuts about technology, let me explain a little.

You see, DVDs come in 7 geographical regions. For example, Singapore is in region 3, so most of the DVDs you buy in Singapore are region 3 DVDs. Now, most DVD-ROMs have a preset number of times their region can be reset (usually 5 times). What this means is that when you buy a DVD-ROM, it will be set to region 1 initially, for example. So supposing you purchase a DVD from region 3 and want to view it, you have to reset your DVD-ROM's region to 3. Then, if you wish to view a DVD from region 1, you have to set it back again. Now you're only left with three region resets for your DVD-ROM. After you've reset the region for your DVD-ROM drive for the 5th time, it will stay at that region forever. So if, for example, your DVD-ROM is at region 1 after the 5th time you reset it, you will never be able to watch DVDs from any of the other regions ever again.

Theoretically speaking, of course. At least, that's what the movie makers intended when they introduced this stupid scheme. In practice, there is a multitude of programs that can help you to get around this silly encoding bullshit. The point, though, is that you bought the hardware, you own the hardware. You bought the DVD, you own the DVD, and they're telling you that even though these commodities are your property now, they don't want you to use them. Why? Because they stand to miss the chance of robbing someone else the same way. Fuck that shit. So anyway, heads up, people. Your hardware, your choice. Check out this shit. Personally, I don't use it because I use Linux to view my DVDs, which basically just ignores the region, but it seems to work ok.

If, however, you're too stupid to even download and buy/crack some software, you deserve to experience the frustration of not being able to view a DVD, you moron. Anyway, back to First Blood. What happened to Hollywood? I began this post last night, after I'd just watched First Blood, and I'm finishing it now, after I just finished Stargate. How the fucking hell did Hollywood go from producing totally kick-ass films like First Blood to fucked up pussy-ass films like Stargate? Apparently some Power from On High cast some fucking stone tablets down during a meeting of film executives in Hollywood stating the Commandments to Movie-Making, and Hollywood movies have never been the same ever since. Here are some commandments I have extrapolated from the movies I have watched recently.

Commandments to Movie-Making

Some Fucking Power From On High


1. (undiscovered as yet)
2. Thou shalt not have consistency in thy plot.
3. (undiscovered as yet)
4. Thou shalt have a sacrificial character that will spur the hero on to Greater Things.
5. (undiscovered as yet)
6. Thou shalt not have accurate historical facts.
7. (undiscovered as yet)
8. (undiscovered as yet)
9. If this be an action film, thou shalt have a love story entwined within, yea, forced and contrived though it be.
10. (undiscovered as yet)


I don't care how slickly they package it, a cliche is a cliche. I mean, think about it. If First Blood had been produced today, there would have been a black co-star as a sidekick. The sherrif's daughter would have fallen for Rambo, only to get shot in some crossfire so that her father will learn the valuable lesson of Not Being A Complete Asshole To Strangers. Of course, she recovers in the end so Rambo can fuck her happily ever after. You get the idea. Why does Hollywood feel that they need to make the same movies every year? Because stupid people still rush madly to watch the movies regardless of how bad they suck. This lowers the taste of the public, who get so used to seeing such bullshit that it actually seems smart to them, which lowers the studio's standards, which lowers the taste of the public, who get so used to . . . and on and on it goes, a merry vicious cycle of stupidity.

Ah fuck it, I had more to say but I'm sleepy.
 
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