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Friday, April 01, 2005
Silly Celly, Cowed By Caleb, Sheena's Bloggy, God Of Maggots

I notice that Silly Celly has been Cowboy Caleb-ed. Hmm, wait a minute, that does not sound as cool (or funny) as being popped by gandhi nor being browned. Come to think of it, "being Agag-ed" doesn't sound cool either. Why not refer to being Agag-ed as being balded by googa since his blog is titled "Balderdash"? And since Caleb is a Cowboy, why not refer to it as being "cowed by Caleb"? See how it can also be a pun for "cow" as in "cow char bor" (picking up chicks)? Fuck, I'm good. You fuckers just have no flair for wordplay. Anyway, seeing as I "discovered" Celle first, I shall shamelessly claim credit for, erm, discovering her. Man, I kick ass. MUAHAHAHAHA.

Here's something I got in the mail.

Last picture says it all . . .

With a record-breaking height of 420-feet and record-breaking speed of 120 mph, Top Thrill Dragster delivers on its promise of thrilling riders this summer.

Even though I do sympathise with the girl for being unfortunate enough to have been caught on the camera of an obvious jerk, I must still say that it was fucking hilarious.

In case any of you haven't been checking out the Big Fuck's blog, go check it out. It has now become laden with great iniquity. Since it will probably change, I have taken the liberty of immortalising it (at least until I graduate) here. Well, I did mirror it, but the photos didn't show, and I was too lazy to actually save all the photos manually, so you'll all just have to see it before it's gone.

To Big Fuck: You linked us all as pr0n, you fucker!

Sheena has apparently become a goddess of the maggot-brains, due to her anti-Xiaxue's fans post. Check out the comments. Notice this in particular.

Sheena: "Hey people. I'm tired of saying I didn't mean to bash XX, but I only wanted to bash her sheep . . . "

The very next comment: "I think XX deserved to be bashed . . . "

I fail to comprehend how someone can be so stupid and still remember to breathe. Sheena says that "Goddess Of The Maggot Brains" is not a compliment. Someone suggested "cyborg" instead, but Sheena said she preferred "goddess" because she would get gifts, and tribute and shit like that. I think she wasn't thinking when she said that, because come on, does she really want gifts from maggots? They'd only give her rotten meat and (quite literally) shit like that. Personally, I'd have preferred to be a cyborg.

Due to the fact that she is not happy over it and also because I am a sadist, I shall change her link on my blog to "Goddess Of The Maggot Brains". She did ask to not be addressed as my #1 fan after all. As all men know, I am the most compliant of bloggers.

Also, since Sheena asked me if I was high when I told her that she'd have to wait in line to date me, I shall post some pictures of the admirers who are panting for a chance to have a date with me.

That's my friend from Hong Kong. An exchange student who's in love with me.

That's some chick who's been bombarding my e-mail.

That's . . . an April Fool's joke, as the more perceptive amongst you have probably noticed by now. In case I really do have stupid readers, let me reiterate: I do not know any of the women in the above photos. They're just random pictures off the internet. But hark! Lest any of you think that I'm a fucking wanker, I shall post a few pictures of The Feisty Bitch.

There you go, I'm not a wanker.

In case you're wondering whether I have any bigger pictures, yes I do, but why should I share them with you? Actually, the Feisty Bitch doesn't like to be well-known, unlike her more extroverted boyfriend.

In case you're wondering why all the pictures have me in them, it's a not-so-subtle hint that the Feisty Bitch comes with an Adrian, so don't be getting any ideas, men and lesbians.

In case you're wondering what she's doing with me, well, she asks herself that frequently too. I think it's pretty obvious that it's because I'm beautiful and brilliant.
Goddamn you, XX is a goddess to MORE maggot-brains than I have. For my current post, though, there's only a single maggot-brain, but he's a troll, and we all know trolls are brainless.

Anyway about getting linked to Cowboy Caleb, I agree that "Cowboy Caleb-ed" sounds really uncool. A better choice would be "Ridden by Cowboy Caleb!" He IS a cowboy after all.

And as for you and the Feisty Bitch, all together now: AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Yes, I agree that XX is goddess to more maggot-brains than you. However, since I don't really think she's worth linking, I shall continue to call you that, muahahahaha.

And I thought of the riding thing too, but decided on "cowed by Caleb" cos of a few reasons.

1) It sounds like Cowboy Caleb
2) popped by gandhi <=> popagandhi = cowed by caleb <=> Cowboy Caleb
3) cowed by Caleb can also mean scared by him and I think we can all agree that fear of oneself is an awesome emotion in other people.
4) the aforementioned pun with cow char bor.
By the way, what is "AWWWWWW" supposed to mean? *suspicious*
"AWWWWWWWWW!!!" is Sheena-speak for "Awwwwww... that's so sweet!"

And the Feisty Bitch is really pretty, which makes me wonder even MORE about why she's with you. ;p
Oh, I have my methods. NOW do you believe that if I were unattached, you'd have to wait in line? HAHAHAHAHA
Nope. If you were unattached no one else would want to date you but me. Certainly not Nanako Matsushima.

Oh, and about the maggot-brains, remember I issued a last warning that anyone who continues bashing XX instead of the sheep would get their comments deleted? I've had to delete FOUR already. What the hell, don't people know how to read? Or is it that I'm so insignificant they decide to ignore my warning?
Not to be an asshole, but I totally predicted this would happen, Sheena. But did anyone listen to me? Noooo . . .

I am Cassandra of Troy.
Cassandra died a tragic death. Why not be the Oracle at Delphi?
Because no one listened to Cassandra either, to their own eventual dismay.
To echo Sheena: Aw... so sweet. Haha. And Feisty Bitch is quite chio.

I wonder how I would be mentioned when I write about other people's blogs on my own blogs. Have they been Hai~Ren-ed? Or did they get a Free Brain Haemorrhage?

And yes, I have to concur that sheep everywhere are all the same. Sheena just happened to draw in the anti-XX sheep.
What the fuck is wrong with the fucking comments???
So obvious you also donch know? The comments are spoil, lah!

P.S. I link you so high on my April Fool's site you still not happy meh? I thought it was a funny joke what.

P.P.S. Heh, you discover celly from where one? I aks you! I saw her commenting on my blog one day and thought, wah, this is a real chiobu. Too bad I'm so far away otherwise I surely try and sian already (don't tell her ah! Scarly my plan backfire!)

P.P.P.S. Your girlfriend not bad sia. Re-spek.

Ok, that's all.

Big Fuck:
Yah, it was a rhetorical question, posted to force comments to appear. :p

P.S. I was kidding also leh. I thought it was hilarious too!

P.P.S. Yeah, I also saw her commenting on my blog and followed back to her blog, haha. But what I meant was I'm the first to realise her blog is good and link and advertise for her! Not long after that, Caleb cowed her! Coincidence? Maybe, but I'm claiming credit anyway, MUAHAHAHAHA. Anyway, good luck with your campaign, heheh.

P.P.P.S. Ah then? I also power mah. Dun pray pray . . .
Hai~Ren: I referred to myself as being Hai~Ren-ed before. But I think getting a Free Brain Haemorrhage sounds cooler.
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To Those Who Wish To Link Me:

Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.

Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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