Professional Sweeper Of Mines
First things first. I am most probably going to be at Chinablack celebrating my gaming pal's birthday on Saturday. If you want to see me dance like a faggot, drop me an email asking for my mobile number. Of course, if you're someone I don't want to see, you will be ignored. Holders of Adrian Coolness Points are guaranteed a reply, of course. See? Already there are benefits!
I've noticed that a lot of bloggers have been posting pictures of themselves lately. First, I saw Adri
post a rather spooky picture of herself here
. Then, from her blog, I saw Mr. Miyagi
's picture and Mr. Brown
's picture. Apparently, those pictures were posted in response to Xiaxue's
t-shirt endorsement deal picture or something. Then, while reading the big fuck
's latest post
, I saw that he has also posted a picture of himself.
How ostentatious! As all men know, I am an ardent advocate of keeping a low profile and being modest. As a sign of protest against the undesirable behaviour of all these media whores, I have decided to post a picture of myself glaring disapprovingly at them.
Another fan of mine who requested anonymity has very nicely emailed another picture of a finger to me for my flipping-other-people-off pleasure. Thanks for the loan of your finger the past few days, Sheena. You get another Adrian Coolness point. The anonymous fan, of course, gets one too. Here is the aforementioned finger.
I am a professional freecell player. Every month I get a couple of hundred bucks just sitting around in the office playing freecell and listening to mp3s. God, I am so fucking cool. Why any company would pay someone to play freecell and minesweeper is anyone's guess, but my hypothesis is that there is some huge international freecell and minesweeper competition that they are planning to send me for. I would probably win such a competition too. Everyday, my powers grow. If there is a solution to any freecell game, I am confident that I will be able to find it on the first attempt if I set my mind to it. As for minesweeper, I am currently completing the games at an average timing of 100 seconds. That's, like, 1 mine marked per second, baby.
Of course, part of my pay can be attributed to blogging too, because while sitting in the office, I also write blogs which I email to myself and publish when I get home. So yes, I guess you could call me a professional blogger too. There are many bloggers in Singapore, but how many of them get paid to do it, motherfuckers? Huh? HUH? This is final and irrefutable proof that this is indubitably the fucking best blog in Singapore, people. Bow down and worship. God damn, I rock. And hey, fuck y'all if you don't agree with me, because your opinions count for nothing. I am the smartest, most capable person on the face of this planet - nay, in this universe, and I am always right. No one can oppose my supreme godlikeness, so don't even try.
Did I mention that I am also paid to take tea breaks? Yes, every half an hour, I take a half hour tea break. The rest of the time, I take smoke breaks. So you see, my envious readers, I am also being paid to smoke. I am a professional smoker. If I were any fucking cooler, Singapore would be buried under a layer of ice, except that I am also the fucking hottest guy on the planet, of course, which somewhat cancels out the climatic effects potentially caused by my coolness. If I weren't cool, the supreme hotness of my sheer physical beauty would make Singapore not just a sunny island, but a raging inferno as well. If I had been born in Ancient Greece, there would have been no Iliad
, because all the kings would have been busy fighting for the right to give their daughters to me in marriage and no one would have noticed Helen was gone. In fact, the kings would probably have turned gay because of me. God, I am so fucking beautiful.
I rock, you suck.
Ok, my internship is fucking boring right about now.