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Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Finding The (Un)Holy Grail

Since I do not have a digital camera and am hence unable to take a picture of my own magnificent finger, I am plagiarising the hell out of Sheena's finger. Here it is, in all its - um, glory.

This is the finger I shall use in future whenever I feel like flipping someone off online.

I've stopped using webcounter.com, because try as I might, I could not find any way to reverse search for keywords that led to my blog. So thanks, webcounter, you've been a fucking lot of help. Now, fuck off. Anyway, I've started using this nifty cool new thing which you can see on the right. Almost immediately, the Almighty saw fit to gift me with a search engine referral, thereby putting to rest any doubts I may have had about (a) His existence, and (b) the correctness of my choice. So what, one might ask, was the elusive keyword(s)?

Annabelle Chong.


This is further proof that (a) God does exist and (b) He does not like my ego much. Here's to you, you fucking prankster.

Update: While we're on the subject of site counters, I just noticed that Ivan has two of them on his blog. Jeez, that guy must have an even bigger ego than mine.
Man, I knew you were gonna be using it but this much? You must really like my finger. Go on, suck it! Suck my finger you sleazy ass!

Ok I'm nuts.

Anyway I have to admit, my finger really looks glorious doesn't it? Long, slim, nicely-proportioned, elegant and eloquent... ahh, what a finger. I love it too. =D
You love it, eh? How often? >=)
Oh God, you're fucking sick. Why would I need to use my finger when I have Andy? Heh.

And I meant I love the way it looks, you dong. Would you like to suck it?
Ha. I use blogpatrol (the little one at the bottom of my sidebar) to track my visitors, referrals, and the search terms they use. It also tells me what OS & browser my visitors use.

And Sheena... you gave me a very bad mental image... aargh... my eyes......
Ivan: Did you mean a bad mental image of me and Andy doing it or a bad mental image of Adrian sucking my finger?

I'm inclined to think it's the latter, because I know that a beautiful goddess like me is the natural subject of many men's wet dreams and it's not astonishing you should be imagining me naked. So by process of logical elimination, I assume you're grossed out by the thought of ugly Adrian slobbering all over my finger.

Heh. I shall take a pic of him doing that and send it to you, just to burn your eyes out. LOL~
Hey hey hey, I'm not as beautiful as I was when I was slimmer, sure, but I'm still not ugly ok!
Adrian: Ok, ok, you're hot. Happy now?

Anyway, you keep refusing to answer my repeated questioning of whether you wanna suck my finger. So I ask you again: You want to suck it? =D
Sheena: No, thank you. I just want to use it for flipping off other people. :p
Adrian: Damn, and I got my hopes up for nothing too! =D

BTW I found out about the Big Fuck's blog like days before this. He reminds me uncomfortably of you. But I have to say, I honestly think your blog's better (despite knowing this will swell your already-overlarge head and ego).

Now, suck my finger in return. LOL~
Bah you're going to monopolise all the Adrian coolness points...

And I cried out, "My eyes!" because

a) I simply do not want to be treated to the mental image of you and Andy doing it (I do not wish to view my blog friends as porn stars)

b) Adrian sucking your finger... yech. Bad mental image as well...
If you are looking forward to any sucking from Adrian, I'm afraid you have a rather long and futile wait ahead.

Why not just stick to your dear Andy since he's obedient and all that? :D
Oh no! Feisty Bitch's coming after me! *runs away*

But see, dearie, as endearing and pleasing as it is to have an obedient man, it does get boring sometimes. Which is when I start going round looking for men to suck my fingers. Heh.

Ok lah, seriously, this nonsense between me and Adrian is a joke. Hope you're not gonna take it to heart. I've done the same shit to most of my other male blogger friends. Maybe you could call me a nymphomaniac, but I prefer to think I'm a sex goddess. *beams*
Woohoo, catfight! Over me! I haven't seen that kind of action since before I met the Feisty Bitch.

Ivan: Here, you get an Adrian Coolness Point for referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers".
Catfight over YOU?!

Gimme a break, Adrian. Your ego needs some serious major deflating. Would you like me to do it for you? I've got hammers, pins, tongs, screwdrivers... you name it.
Whoo, yay. I'm the first guy to get an Adrian Coolness Point.

And Sheena, didn't know you had such erm, novel tastes. Whoever knew that our resident nymphomaniac oops *hack cough sex goddess hack cough* would use hammers, pins, tongs and screwdrivers as sexual aids. Unless you're talking about inserting them into Adrian, or er... using these tools to pleasure yourself. In which case... MY EYES!!!!!!!!!
Will have to make a reservation at the A&E then...
Ivan: Would you like to try? =D

Anyway you haven't answered my query about your fingers. You said you had really long fingers. I heard men with long fingers have long dicks too. @_@
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To Those Who Wish To Link Me:

Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.

Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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