Opinions On Autism
In yesterday's issue of Today, a reader by the name of Karen Soh, who has an autistic son, wrote in to complain. Apparently, her child had made so much progress that his doctor and teacher advised her to enrol him in a regular school. However, when the parents of the other children in the school found out that he is autistic, they complained and Karen was thus forced to withdraw her son from the school.

While I sympathise with Karen, I think that the parents of the other children in the school were perfectly justified in doing so. When all is said and done, our own children are still the most important to us, and they were only worried that their own children would pick up bad habits from the autistic child. This is a perfectly valid cause for concern, because as every educated, courteous, polite, well-mannered, well-behaved and knowledgeable Singaporean (in other words, the majority of the fucking population) knows, autism is a dreadfully infectious disease. It is caused by a deadly virus that is communicable by air, water, earth, fire, wood, metallic alloys, electricity, sunlight, heredity, saliva, blood, semen, vaginal secretions and DNA. It has even been known to propagate itself through house pets and mosquito bites.

What does all this scientific jargon mean? Quite simply, it means that you can acquire autistic behaviour by simply being near an autistic child. In fact, you can acquire autism even by touching anything that an autistic person has touched. Of course, even if your child happens to catch autism, he will not lose his life. In fact, he will not even lose his physical health. He might, however, become slightly more withdrawn and quiet, and God knows we don't want that. Oh no, we want Singaporean children to be normal. In other words, boisterous and noisy. When they are in the MRT, for example, we want them to run around, chasing each other, screaming their heads off and harrassing complete strangers who have just finished a hard day's work and who want nothing more than to catch up on some snooze time in the fucking train. This is good because if we allowed people to doze in the MRT and on buses, they might miss their stops. Your normal children are actually helping those passengers. In spite of that, they still have the cheek to glare at you sometimes, the fucking ingrates.

When we take our children shopping, we want them to run around, chasing each other, screaming their heads off and knocking shit off the shelves. This is good because then the shop assistants would then have to pick that shit up, which would give them something to do, which is what this country's economy was built on. People having stuff to do and shit to pick up. If they didn't, they'd be jobless bums or autistic.

As I have adequately proven, there are dire consequences from letting our children display autistic behaviour. As such, those other parents did the right thing by forcing Karen to withdraw her child from the school. In fact, since autism is so contagious, we should probably avoid the parents and neighbours of autistic children as well, just to be on the safe side. Since Karen probably tried to enrol her son in a school close to her neighbourhood, and since the children attending that school probably live in that general vicinity as well, we should also start discriminating against those parents who complained and their children as well.

Those people are different and should be kept separate from us normals. After all, that is the basic principle upon which this great nation was built. Everyone being the same as everyone else, regardless of race, language or religion. It's in the fucking national pledge, for fuck's sake. What could be clearer than that? Where would we be if we allowed people who are different to mix around with us? In fact, not only should we discriminate against autistic children, their parents, their relatives and their neighbours, we should probably discriminate against cripples, et al, as well. It is only logical that if children could pick up autistic behaviour from autistic children, it follows that they might start limping if they were exposed to crips. After all, difference begets difference. Yes, we should definitely not let our precious, noisy darlings mix around with people who are different or even quiet, because otherwise, they might develop tolerance and worse, acceptance. That would be anathema to us as intolerant parents and ultimately, lead to the downfall of this great nation.

To emphasize my point, I have included this picture.



Jeez.

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With regards to the comment on my previous post, I would have to agree with you, anonymous. It's very likely that Ciara can never beat MJ in extreme cosmetic surgery, being a freak and child molestation charges. So yes, I would say MJ is way more entertaining in almost every area. I mean, seriously, that motherfucker is crazy.  ¶
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