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Friday, February 18, 2005
AIDS Just Kills Motherfuckers

Keanu Reeves may be a bad actor, but he is a fucking smart guy. Either that, or he has one hell of an agent, because in spite of his zero acting abilities, he seems to have the uncanny ability to pick all the right movies. Constantine was great. I don't know why Hollywood is always trying to make Catholicism look cool, though, because aren't they the idiots who were against condoms?

I don't read the New Paper, but today one of the headlines caught my eye (still didn't buy a copy, though). Something about mandatory testing for AIDS for everyone in Singapore. What a fucking cool idea. Think about it. After we have identified all the HIV-positive people in Singapore, we would be one step closer to the hedonistic utopia I spoke of earlier. If all HIV-positive people have been identified, they can just fuck each other for kicks, because they've all got the virus anyway. What's more important, of course, is that the rest of us could screw around too, and never have to worry about AIDS ever, unless some monkey fucker gets it again, of course. Promiscuous sex would at last be free of consequences! Well, except for unwanted pregnancies. And herpes. And gonorrhea. And syphilis. And . . .


p.s. The title is stolen from Eddie Murphy's "Delirious". I don't remember exactly what he said, but here's the gist of it.

Remember back in the old days, when venereal disease was simple? Back in the old days, you get gonorrhea, your dick hurts, you get a shot, clears it right up. Then, they came up with herpes, which you carry around forever like a luggage. And now there's AIDS, which just kills motherfuckers. I say, "what's next?" I guess you just put your dick in and explode. And the girl would be lying on the bed, going, "maybe I should see a doctor about this."

Yes, everybody should watch Delirious and Raw.
I assume you saying on your link that I'm your biggest fan and I have a crush on you is an attempt to assuage your pain at meeting someone smarter than you. Yo man, doesn't work on me.

And about the hedonistic utopia. I've got an idea. Can we just put all the people with STDs, any STDs, not just AIDS, together into one place (maybe a deserted island like Pulau Kechil), while the rest of us stay and turn Singapore into Fuckaround Fairground.

As for unwanted pregnancies, free unlimited supplies of the pill or condoms (provided gynaecologists and convenience store owners also want to join in the Fuckfest) will do the trick.

Whaddya think? Idea right!
yes, when i take over the world, i shall put u personally in charge of that.
Hey, taking over the world is MY domain (pun not intended). And I'm not interested in sharing power. But if you please me (and as an added bonus, if you look like Jay Chou), I'll appoint you as my right-hand man.
Come now, Jay Chou looks like the kind of kid I used to pick on at school. In fact, he looks like a cock. I used to hate him, but I've come to concede that he is phenomenally talented. I still maintain that he looks like a cock.
He looks cocky, but NOT like a cock. There's a big difference. And yes, he is phenomenally talented. The main reason why I want to take over the world is so that I can keep him as my toy boy.
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Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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