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Saturday, January 29, 2005
South Park kicks ass

Man, South Park kicks ass. I was just re-watching the episode in Season 5 where Kenny dies again, and there was this scene where Chef talks to a very upset Stan.

Chef: Hello there, children.
Stan: Hey, Chef.
Chef: How's it goin?
Stan: Bad.
Chef: Yeah? Things have been better, huh?
Stan: Why would God let Kenny die, Chef? Why? Kenny's my f-friend. Why can't God take someone else's f-friend?
Chef: *sighs* Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about Himself. He is a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it. So, He doesn't care who He takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to Him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?
Stan: But then why does God give us anything to start with?
Chef: Well, look at it this way. If you want to make a baby cry, first, you give it a lollipop, then you take it away. If you never gave it a lollipop to begin with, then he would have nothing to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and health, just so that He can tear it all away and make us cry. So he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God His great power.
Stan: I think I understand.

Chef says all his lines with the tone of a wise adult patiently explaining a difficult concept to a child. The whole scene was done with inspirational music playing in the background. Hilarious shit.
"Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever.

(...short pause...)

Thy bidding will be done. {(Munch munch munch.)}" - Homer Simpson

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