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Tuesday, January 18, 2005
 
Don't piss me off, or I'll fuck your women.

The other day, the Evil Canadian and I were discussing whether the Han Empire (as in the Chinese) or the Roman Empire would have won had they encountered each other at the heights of their power, which happened to be at around the same period in history. Their level of technology was around the same. The Romans were better tacticians and strategists, but the Hans outnumbered the Romans by about 7 to 1. Personally, I think that the Hans would probably not have been able to break the Roman legion, but then we'll never know.

Anyway, that discussion led to another about who was cooler, Alexander The Great or Genghis Khan. Rather than stupidly attempting to recall what the two of us said and typing it out again , a fucking tiring affair which has me feeling weary just thinking about it, I shall use my fearsome powers of CTRL-C and CTRL-V to magically make the words appear. Here it is, in all it's typographical-error-laden, horrible-grammar-infested glory.




[10:11:16 PM] Don AQ®: lol genghis is still my fave conqueror man
[10:11:38 PM] Don AQ®: "there is no greater pleasure in life than
making love to your enemy's wife and daughters"
[10:11:41 PM] Don AQ®: something liek that
[10:11:45 PM] Pieter: lol
[10:11:57 PM] Don AQ®: no pansy rationalising for that man
[10:12:42 PM] Pieter: "A man's greatest work is to break his enemies,
to drive them before him, to take from them all the
things that have been theirs, to hear the weeping of
those who cherished them."
[10:12:53 PM] Don AQ®: that was him?
[10:12:57 PM] Pieter: yeah
[10:12:59 PM] Don AQ®: lol
[10:13:02 PM] Don AQ®: what a guy
[10:13:15 PM] Pieter: "I am the Flail of God. If you had not committed
great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me
upon You."
[10:13:22 PM] Don AQ®: dude i gotta go kick ass in frozen throne
[10:13:28 PM] Don AQ®: make the irc kiddies weep
[10:13:29 PM] Don AQ®: later
[10:13:42 PM] Don AQ®: that's cool too




Sometime later . . .




[11:30:52 PM] Pieter - bor: "When Alexander saw the breadth of his
domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to
conquer."
[11:31:07 PM] Don AQ®: heh
[11:31:10 PM] Pieter - bor: alexander still kicks chingis's butt
[11:34:39 PM] Pieter - bor: ever heard of the gordian knot?
[11:35:32 PM] Don AQ®: nope
[11:35:34 PM] Don AQ®: what is it?
[11:36:01 PM] Pieter - bor: it was a knot tied by king midas,
according to legend. he who could untie the knot would
conquer asia according to legend
[11:36:12 PM] Pieter - bor: that was the prophecy of course
[11:36:34 PM] Pieter - bor: when alexander entered the temple, he took
his sword and cut the knot in half
[11:36:45 PM] Don AQ®: lol
[11:37:40 PM] Pieter - bor:
http://www.gordiansolutions.com/TheKnot.htm
[11:37:56 PM] Pieter - bor: how cool is that? instead of wasting time
on this stupid puzzle, he just cuts it in half
[11:38:06 PM] Pieter - bor: can you tell I'm bored?
[11:39:16 PM] Don AQ®: yes
[11:39:18 PM] Don AQ®: lol
[11:39:21 PM] Don AQ®: but he's too honourable
[11:39:38 PM] Don AQ®: i prefer a man who makes love to his enemy's
wives and daughters
[11:40:07 PM] Pieter - bor: he razed tons of cities man
[11:40:33 PM] Pieter - bor: and he charged with his men in battle,
unlike genghis "let's hide in the back" khan
[11:40:37 PM] Pieter - bor: ;)
[11:41:56 PM] Don AQ®: dude
[11:42:03 PM] Don AQ®: genghis was remorseless
[11:42:24 PM] Don AQ®: the fact that he sent his men to die without
risking himself only makes me think more highly of him
[11:42:28 PM] Don AQ®: what's gotten into you?
[11:42:59 PM] Pieter - bor: lol
[11:43:10 PM] Pieter - bor: well alexander didn't think he was risking
himself
[11:43:24 PM] Pieter - bor: his mother made him believe his father was
not phillip but a god
[11:43:38 PM] Pieter - bor: so he just wanted to participate
personally in the slaughter of his enemies
[11:44:14 PM] Don AQ®: no, man
[11:44:36 PM] Don AQ®: from all we know of the guy, he pretty much
loved the fact that he was as much at risk as his men
were
[11:45:13 PM] Pieter - bor: he did think he was a half god though
[11:45:23 PM] Pieter - bor: at least, up until he was dying
[11:45:24 PM] Pieter - bor: lol
[11:46:00 PM] Don AQ®: lol
[11:46:02 PM] Don AQ®: yeah
[11:46:57 PM] Pieter - bor: genghis fell of his horse. qed
[11:47:31 PM] Don AQ®: dude, at least he was engaged in a manly
pursuit. alex died of a fucking flu
[11:47:39 PM] Pieter - bor: nah he didn't
[11:47:41 PM] Pieter - bor: fever, not flu
[11:48:00 PM] Pieter - bor: which was a result of his BATTLE INJURY
[11:48:05 PM] Don AQ®: flu, fever, what's the difference?
[11:48:15 PM] Don AQ®: it was deliberate. i knew it was fever
[11:50:12 PM] Pieter - bor: he got an arrow straight through his lung,
and a result he got sick and died of a fever
[11:50:28 PM] Pieter - bor: but least he can ride his horse
[11:50:30 PM] Pieter - bor: ;)
[11:52:13 PM] Don AQ®: c'mon, genghis was a pretty old man at the
time
[11:52:23 PM] Pieter - bor: I'm just riling you up
[11:52:34 PM] Pieter - bor: but I do think they're tied for the spot
of #1 conqueror
[11:52:57 PM] Don AQ®: i pick the more cruel one, ceteris paribus
[11:53:08 PM] Pieter - bor: there's a certain quality of greek myth to
alexander
[11:53:28 PM] Don AQ®: true
[11:53:33 PM] Don AQ®: he was a god
[11:53:56 PM] Don AQ®: as anthony hopkins said in the recent movie




Man, Genghis Khan has the coolest quotes. Here are some more I dug up.

"It is not sufficient that I succeed--all others must fail."

"The Greatest Happiness is to scatter your enemy and drive him before you. To see his cities reduced to ashes. To see those who love him shrouded and in tears. And to gather to your bosom his wives and daughters."

Yes, he was perhaps the coolest motherfucker on earth until I came along.
 
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