In a desperate attempt to prove Mc-Bloody-Derwood (if you don't get the joke, go watch Bewitched) wrong and that I Rock, You Suck is not an infantile blog, I've decided to follow the trend that's been going around in the Singaporean blogosphere lately. Yes, the great Me, Myself has decided to write a post about politics. However, instead of writing directly about the recently concluded elections and potentially getting my poor ass sued off, I've decided to write about my own general opinions concerning politics.
My opinion about politics is brutally simple and can be best summed up in one sentence. It's either time for a revolution or it isn't. Since I do not think that the situation is bad enough in Singapore to actually justify my getting a rifle and taking potshots at members and agents of the currently ruling party, I simply do not have much of a political opinion at present.
That being said, I must say that I do generally disapprove of all the political parties that we currently have. I think that the people who are in them have no idea in hell how to run a good party and here's why. Any good party must, first and most of all, have booze. How can you have a party without an abundant supply of liquor? Without alcohol, how would the ugly people at the party get laid? Of course, there is a school of thought among students of the fine art of running a proper party which states that a good party should not have
ugly people in the first place. Any civilized party person would, I'm sure, agree that it is an abhorrent idea, akin to racism. After all, it's not their fault that they're ugly. They were born that way, and hence it was their God's fault. Besides, that's why Man invented alcohol. See? Yes, I think that the political partying scene in Singapore would be best served by serving more alcohol. Maybe then the people attending them would start talking sense instead of blabbering on and on about boring and nonsensical, incomprehensible stuff such as Economics, Price Hikes and Wages.
Another thing that any good party should have is, of course, chicks. With abundant alcohol and without chicks, well . . . I'm sure any sane person would agree that it defeats the purpose of having a party if you do not have chicks around to grope when you're drunk. I noted with great disapproval that most political parties in Singapore are sorely lacking in this aspect. What we need in order to spice up the political partying scene in Singapore are chicks with epic tits, great buns and loose morals. That will send a definite signal to political parties in other nations that we are truly growing up.
Not quite as important as the other two, but important nonetheless in order to add a touch of sophistry to any great party, is music. Yes, I heard the clip of people chanting at some political party, and I was not impressed. Now, if they had been belting out good, ol' retro song lyrics instead, or even just hooting in time to some rave, that would be something! That would sound like a party I
would like to check out.
In conclusion, the politicians in Singapore have no idea how to run a party, and I guess it will have to eventually be up to LEWD to show them. First, however, we need dough in order to start a proper party. Hence, I strongly urge all of you, Lewdites and those other people who are not quite as cool as our awesome selves alike, to please donate to our Beer Fund, that we may show all the other political parties in Singapore how to really
run a party.
Don A.Q. for President!