I rock, you suck
Donate to my Beer Fund

If you enjoyed/hated my blog/have money to burn/are crazy, why not give me your money?
All you have to do is click on the button above.
No? Well, go on to the posts below, then, you prick.

Monday, April 17, 2006
I consult the Oracle

As I have said, cool people don't do memes, but ultra-cool people do memes without even being tagged. So here I am, once again, stealing memes from other people (Rambo this time). In this meme, one runs the music player of one's preference and puts it on shuffle. Then, one asks of the Oracle (mine is winamp) the following questions, hits "next song", and takes the song title as the answer.

I know that many people, upon reading this, will say that it is a crappy method of predicting the future, but I say that it makes way more sense than motherfucking astrology, ok? So here goes.

How does the world see me?
Mariah Carey - Hero (Fuckin' A, but I would have preferred "supervillain". And to those who ask why I listen to Mariah Carey, isn't that your kettle boiling I hear?)

Will I have a happy life?
Bananarama - I Heard A Rumour (See how fortune-tellers make money?)

What do my friends really think of me?
Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing (Shucks, I love you too, guys. Not as much as you love me, of course. Not even as much as I love Aerosmith. In fact, I would characterise it as more of a vague sense of not disliking you, but hey, it's something.)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Bon Jovi - Never Say Goodbye (I'll take that as a resounding "yes".)

How can I make myself happy?
Changi and Desker - Say Yes (Well, it was actually "Chage and Aska" and I was actually expecting Fuck Her Gently by Tenacious D, but there ya go. Oh wait, that would have been "How can I make them happy?" Then again, sometimes they like to be fucked hard too.)

What should I do with my life?
Michael Learns To Rock - The Actor (Wow, eerily unambiguous. This totally kicks astrology's ass, fucks yeah! And again, your kettle is really sounding off now.)

Will I ever have children?
Real McCoy - Another Night (Another night? Shit, I'm totally gonna get a vasectomy before I have sex again.)

What is some good advice for me?
Connor Reeves - Earthbound (Guess that means I shouldn't take planes or ships. Or maybe it means I should just lie down on the floor and do nothing. Yeah, I like that.)

How will I be remembered?
Olivia Newton John - Physical (Which future Michelangelo wants to make a sculpture of my fat ass? You'd have to promise to be very complimentary where the nether regions are concerned.)

What is my signature dancing song?
Abba - Dancing Queen (Great. This just confirms the prevalent view that I dance like a faggot.)

What do I think my current theme song is?
Richard Marx - Now And Forever (What the fuck . . .)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
周杰伦 - 我的地盘 ("Jay Zhou - My Territory" Now, this is more like it!)

What song will play at my funeral?
Irene Cara - What a Feeling (This is one of my favourite retro songs. I guess that explains it.)

What type of men/women do I like?
Men: Some Japanese Drama Theme Song - What Will I Do (Suitably ambiguous, since I don't like men.)
Women: Patti Labelle - Lady Marmalade (Yeah, baby, yeah! I like women who ask me if they can sleep with me tonight, although I'm sure we would not be doing a lot of sleeping, if you know what I mean and I think you do . . .)

What is my day going to be like?
1st attempt: Janet Jackson - Again (I thought it meant that I should try asking again, so I did. And you really should see to that kettle.)
2nd attempt: Diana King - Shy Guy (Well, I guess no oracle is perfect.)

The following questions are my own.

What's the answer to the meaning of, you know, life, the universe and everything?
Imperio - Armor Infinitus (What? Not 42? Shit. Poor Douglas got it wrong. It's actually make infinite amounts of love, which just totally makes sense.)

What's the question?
Aaliyah - Are You That Somebody (So lemme get this straight:

Question: Are you that somebody?
Answer: Fuck my brains out.

Fuck me if that doesn't make a whole lotta sense.)

Will Linux ever break Microsoft's monopoly?
Abba - Money Money Money (This question has a deep, personal meaning for me, because I have a bet with the Evil Canadian that says that if Linux breaks Microsoft's monopoly power, then I'd travel to Canada and he'd buy me a six-pack of beer. I guess this means I'm getting my beer.)

Is subscribing my enemies for granny pr0n too harsh a punishment for them?
Bon Jovi - In These Arms (Guess not.)

Yeah, if I think of more questions, I'll post them.
This is totally not related to your post, but I just wanted to let you know that Melissa and I did a Canadian LEWD meeting on Friday night. Thanks for introducing us (without your knowledge!)
Haha, that is so cool. You're very welcome.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

Laughing at the cosmic gag reel since March '04!

L.E.W.D (click to know more):

Fred And Phil


Hot Babe Blogs:

Other Blogs (that are not quite as good as mine):


Recent Posts:


To Those Who Wish To Link Me:

Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.

Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

Powered by Blogger

Ablewise.com Free Classifieds - The Online Classifieds Solutions (TM)

free dating sites

Get custom programming done at GetACoder.com!