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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
We rock, you suck.

I am a nocturnal creature. I don't like to be up and about during the day. What's so good about the day? It's hot, it's fucking noisy and it's filled with stupid people going about their meaningless activities. In the night, however, it's quiet and apparently peaceful. Appearances can be deceptive, however. The day is safe, because light illuminates all dark corners and makes it safe for the fucking mindless lemmings and sheep that roam about in the light. The night, however, belongs to the predators, and woe betide the foolish sheep that would dare intrude upon our domain. It's no accident that my true name means "dark one" because I love the dark. The dark rules because I love it, and you day creatures suck ass because you are clueless.

What other opposites are there? Ah yes, the so-called "good" and "evil". In my experience, one man's good is usually another man's evil. It's the biggest fucking goof of all time. I realised this great but simple truth a long time ago because I'm such a fucking genius, and I shall impart it to you now, humble reader. In case you still haven't realised it, there's no such thing as absolute good or evil. Be honest with yourself. There's only "us" and "them". Some people think that this concept of mine is primitive, but I find that it really simplifies a lot of issues for me.

Whatever my friends and I do that is in opposition to what you and your friends do, we are right and you are wrong. See? Now all your doubts have disappeared. You're wrong. It's as simple as that. Since my friends and I are always right, it makes for an interesting argument on the rare occasion when I disagree with one of my friends. However, since I am the source of my definition of righteousness and my friends are always right only by virtue of their association with me, all I usually need to do is to gently point out this simple fact and be rewarded by the looks of dawning comprehension on their faces. Yes, that's how awesome I am.

Of course, some of my friends are pretty awesome (to you puny mortals) too, but that's only because my awesomeness has rubbed off on them. Anyway, just remember this. There are no such things as good and evil or right and wrong. Those are concepts for children. There's only "us" and "them". So the next time you get into an argument with someone else, just remember that you're right and they're wrong. If they ask you why, refer them to my blog. Unless, of course, the people you're arguing with are my friends and I, in which case you're most definitely wrong.
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Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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