Just because you're my friend doesn't mean you're not a loser.
I've noticed something amusing. Let me start from the beginning. Just about everyone who read my last long post and who knows me personally told me that it was awesome. None of them told me stuff like "you suck", or "I hate you, O Mirror of My Inadequacy" or even "I don't want to know you anymore, you hateful man". The only possible conclusions I can draw from this peculiar state of affairs are that either
a) the people who read my blog all assumed that they belong to the
less than 1% of more than 6 billion people in the world today, or
b) they have accepted the fact that they're incorrigible losers and have already started practising the Way of Eventual Suicide.
Now, since the people who gave me feedback all seemed to still be fairly cheerful, I think that we can safely rule out (b). That means that they all belong to category (a). Get this, more than ten people of my acquaintance belong to the class of people who comprise
less than 1% of more than 6 billion people. The odds against that being true are staggering, as I'm sure even
you would agree, humble reader.
Come on, just because you're my friend doesn't mean that you're exceptional, people. In case you haven't noticed, the previous post was referring to
you. The fact that none of you caught on, my friends, just proved my point that most people were born headed for the dust heap. >=)
You all suck. I hate you.