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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
L.E.W.D. Update and Origins of Gods

Right, so I've added Dr. Fletcher to LEWD, because everyone, including Blinkymummy, who probably knows me better than I know myself, says that the bugger writes like me. Let's face it, anyone who writes like me must by definition be totally fucking awesome. So, my fellow Lewdites, let's welcome the Super Gan Pua No Horse Run Steady Pom Pi Pi blogger (who kicks ass) Dr. Fletcher (KNNBCCB)! Go read his blog, people, it's high time the bugger became famous. His blog has, like, frikkin' ninjas and pirates with frikkin' laserbeams attached to them fighting with frikkin' vampire secret agents, Jesus fucking Christ!

We can only hope that he blogs more so that all you lesser mortals can read more awesomeness and hence bring some colour and vitality into your otherwise drab and uneventful lives.

I was smoking in the corridor today, and there was a lot of lightning. It was very distant lightning, and I knew that because we did not hear any thunder. It was also very high up. The lightning did not seem to be heading earthward. Rather, it arced from cloud to cloud, illuminating the sky for a heartbeat sporadically. It was absolutely splendid. It seemed to me like a battle was taking place in the distant skies between the gods. Watching such a magnificent scene, I suddenly understood the origins of the gods.

You are 5000 years in the past. You have no knowledge of science and how it affects your surroundings. The world is a pretty terrifying place, isn't it? The night, in particular, is feared by you. Darkness is danger and home to creatures that hunt you. You stay at home in the night and you gaze up at the sky. The distant heavens light up, and for a moment, you can see everything around you. How do you explain it? You have no knowledge of the forces that govern such phenomena. You do not know what it is that causes such celestial magnificence. Yet you have seen trees struck down by lightning before, and you know its power.

The hammer of the gods.

Surely, the power to light up the entire sky and earth cannot be unguided? And so, you create the gods in your own image, but invest them with those powers you do not possess. This reassures you, because it is a comfort to know that even though there are demons and monsters in the form of beasts who prowl the darkness seeking your flesh, there are greater powers of light akin to yourself that exist. These powers, these gods, possess the ability to banish the darkness that cloaks your enemies and so, they are to be feared and respected. Perhaps if you beseeched their aid, they would grant it to you, for surely nothing is beyond beings of such power?

As time goes by, you forget that you created them, and start to think they created you instead. Surely, beings of such power cannot be stupid or ignorant, so omniscience becomes one of their attributes. Since they are omniscient, they know about everything you do. Being gods of light, they surely do not approve of those of your deeds tainted by darkness. You start to fear them because, like everyone else, you have done things you are not proud of. In guilt, you try to make up for it by behaving even better than you would have in the past. You start to see evil and sin where none exists and create a prison of the mind for yourself and others.

The powers that began as friends to you against the darkness have become yet another enemy.

The lightning also reminded me of this one time I was taking a bus home. It was raining cats and dogs and, as usual, I was dozing on the bus. As we stopped at a traffic light, lightning struck a tree right outside the bus, and one of the branches fell to the ground. It was very loud, and it woke me up. I remember smiling and mentally telling the heavens, "Heheh, you missed."

Another random thought I had because of the lightning was that humans are so fucked up because it's been wired into us by the surroundings. Think about it. Since the infancy of humankind, we have been at odds with everything around us. The forces of nature such as winter, flood and drought, not to mention the beasts of tooth and claw that hunt us. We fought them all for thousands of years, and we prevailed. We should have enjoyed our victories and been at peace, right?


Fear and the resulting anger have been our friends and comrades in the eons-long war with our environment, and they have served us so well that they have become a part of us. How could we ever desert them? Those who have survived to breed are those whose fear and anger were the greatest.

I was thinking that if I were God, I would have made the world a better place by making it less terrifying for early man. For example, why does lightning have to be accompanied by startling thunder? I would have made it such that the sound that accompanies lightning is a pleasant little tinkle.

Yeah, that sort of shit (as in all of the above) goes on in my head all the damned time. Explains a lot of things, doesn't it?
Your brain would be a very very interesting specimen for dissection indeed...
A lil tinkle for a change is nice HAHA.

And the first time you introduced Dr. Fletcher I've been keeping track. He writes so much like you, but I saw his previous entries, all "No one has opinion, as usual".
I too, believe in the omnipotent lightning bolt and the Gods of the PAP.
Feisty Bitch: I do believe that's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. *sniff*

Zhe Bin: Yeah! I kick ass! I made him famooouuuss!!

Daniel: Dude, that is not cool. I, err, totally did not intend that metaphor. Err . . . stop seeing hidden meanings where none are intended!
'lil tinkle.

So the gods would all pee on us after
striking us down with lightning?

Damn. I'd much rather the scary lightning. :(
dude, don't worry la! It's just me and my warped mind...
Makes a lot of sense. But you made me realise something. You and Dr Fletcher. Nothing bad, I assure you.
Nice bit about lightning. I was thinking that things like the sun, the moon, fire, water and animal spirits probably also had a part to play in shaping the ideas of people in the past about deities. Plus the added bonus that our species quickly found herbs that made us see and do weird things when eaten or inhaled...
Daniel: Good. I wouldn't want anyone, especially our beloved government, thinking that I'm some sort of despicable, sedition-preaching scum.

sb: What is it?

Ivan: Weed is good! I mean, I've heard it's good.
Ha, not just weed, imagine what happened if the whole freaking tribe ate too many overripe fruits, and then chanced upon some funny-looking mushrooms...

Plants with hallucinogenic effects are extremely common.

Probably won't be surprised if many of the old shamanistic and pagan rituals actually originated from people getting high on such stuff.
I see LEWD is getting huge. At this rate we could start taking over the world in another 3 years' time.
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Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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