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Sunday, February 05, 2006
 
I stomp on your sacred fucking cows. Or crocs.

So my brother was telling me about this show he saw on the National Geographic channel. There was this tribe of people who worshipped crocodiles, and they cut or burnt (forgot which) themselves so that they would have raised ridges of skin on their back when they healed. Just like crocodiles. Being the biggest asshole on the face of this planet, I immediately thought it would be funny if LEWD went there in force, wearing leather boots and carrying leather bags.

We'd point at our shoes and go, "Hey guys, check this out. Your god is my shoe."

I can already hear some members of major religions chuckling at my joke. They really shouldn't. I respect crocodiles way more than I respect most of your gods. Let's face it. The people who wrote your holy books were just as primitive and ignorant as the crocodile worshippers.

In conclusion, everyone should convert to the worship of Me. It's the religion that makes the most sense.
 
Comments:
- completely unrelated -
guys, it's 8pm this wednesday. First it's BM, now it's me in a Channel U dating show...LOL.
Watch me make a fool outta myself!
 
They pour sap or some acid into the cuts so the cuts heal with scarry lumps.

Quite cool actually.

Happy New Year.
 
lol you are such a jerk
 
Daniel: I don't think I'll catch it, dude. Firstly, I'm such a geek I haven't watched TV in months. Secondly, you're not a hot babe.

Duff: Happy new year to you too, bro. When we gonna meet up? I want a pool rematch.

Screwy Skeptic: Heheh, one does one's best.
 
Motherfucker, I'd worship you if you gave me money.
 
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45131
 
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The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
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Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
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The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
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Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
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Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
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