Spammers are so misunderstood.
Now, this is what you think a spammer looks like, right?
Wrong! I used to be like you guys. I thought that spammers were the lowest scum of the earth. Now, however, I have realised the error of my ways. Spammers are really just honest people trying to help the rest of the world with great products, touching stories and jokes. How did I discover this rarely-understood fact? Well, just for one day, I read every spam email in my inbox and tried every product offered, and get this, it's all true!!
Yes, because of spam, I am now extremely wealthy, because I have subscribed to a newsletter which gives me stock updates before they actually occur. I can get much harder with more girth, and I can sustain an erection far longer than any mere mortal should be able to because I get shitloads of Viagra in every conceivable colour, fucks yeah. I get house loans whenever the mood strikes me, and I mortgage the houses whenever I get tired of them. I have, like, 300 degrees and diplomas from universities in almost every country in the fucking world. Most of them you've probably never even heard of!
Yes, spam has been good to me, which is why I'm now sitting pretty, posting from a yacht in the Mediterranean, with a harem of supermodels and Japanese race queens attending to me. And because of spam, I can get harder with more girth and bang them all as long as they want!
So hurry, read your spam too, and you could have a fabulous life just like mine!
Man, I hate spammers. So very, very much.