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Thursday, December 27, 2007
List for stupid people.

Someone sent me a list of naive, feel-good crap and this was my reply. The stuff in square braces was written by me.

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

[no, it's not]

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

[not true, but there are some i would kill for]

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

[i can't see why. i hate them all.]

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

[that's bullshit designed to make people like steven lim feel better. sometimes, people hate you just because you're a jackass.]

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

[nope. the only expression i want to see on the faces of those i dislike is utter, hopeless, abject misery.]

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

[that's kind of creepy. unless she's hot, in which case it's kind of a turn on - in a creepy way.]

6. You mean the world to someone.

[the more fool him/her]

7. You are special and unique.

[...just like everybody else]

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

[like... God? or a stalker?]

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

[yes, for other people.]

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.

[*looks* yep, the bastard still has its back turned]

11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

[because they want to be just like me, eh? time to wake up and smell the funk of reality, buddy]

So...........If you are a loving friend, send this to everyone, including the one that sent it to you. If you get it back, then they really do love you.

And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!

Good friends are like stars you don't always see them, But you know they are always there.


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The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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