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Monday, April 05, 2004
If you don't look good, can't dance and aren't loaded, stay home and rot

Some people were born with a sense of rhythm. Others were not. It's strange though, how some of those who were not born with a sense of rhythm somehow fail to realise it. Is it such an intellectually demanding task to actually look into the mirror and see how fucking stupid you look? It's really fucking hilarious whenever I hit the clubs and see some clueless fucker jumping up and down like a fucking monkey, swinging his arms like a windmill on steroids.

Please, the least you could do if you can't dance is stand on one spot and bob your head in time to the beat instead of being the fucking joke of the party. If you can't even nod in time to the music, get out of the fucking club and have an early night for chrissake. Don't take up the fucking space meant for those of us who actually know how to do it. Stay on the sidelines and watch. Buy us drinks if you have the money. Yes, I can already hear some morons saying "but these people paid and they have the right to have fun just as you do". WRONG. Go straight to jail. Do not pass "Go". Do not collect $200.

See, the people who say this stuff are probably the same clueless idiots I'm talking about who can't dance. No, you don't have the right to have fun with the rest of us, because you don't know how to do it properly. Life is hard enough without having to muster up the strength to curl up our lips in disdain at your antics. I'll tell you what you can do, though. Do something worthwhile with your money if you want to go partying. Buy the rest of us drinks. Get out when you've spent all your money on buying drinks for us because that's all that you're good for. Or better yet, just pass the money to us and don't turn up at all. We're there to meet other talented and beautiful people, after all, and the last thing we need is for you fucking dweebs to go cramping our style. We don't care about you and we're not grateful because that's what you were born to do. You were born to serve those better than you.

Worse than the rhythm-less sons of bitches are the bash clubbers. These are the people who are actually not clubbers, but go clubbing during school/company bashes because, well, it's a bash. They don't club except at bashes, and everytime there's a fucking bash, we clubbing elites see them there, causing the club to become as packed as a can of sardines. What's up with that? You're not having fun, and you're preventing others from having fun. You don't drink, you're probably ugly, and you definitely can't dance. You ruin our moods and then you go home before 1am because you're such fucking mama's boys. Why not just stay home in the first place and leave the partying to those who know how? It's gotten so bad that just the sound of the word "bash" is enough to make me want to go clubbing with an automatic weapon. Fucking party poopers.
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