Shoot the children
I have returned to once again bestow the fruits of my erudite cognitive processes upon you peons and head counts out there. Once more, I shall inundate all of you hoi polloi with a flood of words, the composite of which will clearly demonstrate that the originator of said soi-disant literary brilliance (that would be yours truly) is, indubitably, the coolest guy ever to stride terra firma. My auditory organs already detect the enquiry, "Oh, Puissant One, what do you mean?"

God (figuratively speaking), I hate assholes who write like that. There is absolutely no point to using a long word when a short one would do just as well. Let me tell you guys why. If your intended readers do not understand the bombastic words you used, then you'd have failed in conveying your message, which would mean that you've written in vain. If your readers do understand the long words you used, then they'd probably have understood their less verbose equivalents as well, in which case, you'd have wasted ink/disk space/paper/(you get the idea, you stupid fucks) for nothing. To simplify what I've just said for you morons out there, there is no point in using long words when short words can be used unless you meant for some of your readers to not understand you. There could only be one possible reason for doing that, and that would be that you are a fucking poseur.

Right, that's one of my pet peeves. Another one would be kids. I hate kids. Don't give me that bullshit about how they're the hope for the future and all that. Fuck that shit. Kids are noisy, dirty little animals. They're the hope for the world's future? Please, let's just nuke all of ourselves to kingdom come right now and save the world from them. Societies the world over mostly believe that kids are inherently kind and good. That's pure crap. Kids are the most vicious little beasts in existence. Have you ever seen two kids slug it out without any interference from their parents or any other adults? They're totally savage and they have no compunctions about inflicting permanent damage on their opponents. All they care about are their own selfish desires and winning. Kids are the most selfish little fucks on this benighted planet.

Have you ever seen kids torturing animals or insects? They're completely sadistic and they will not hesitate to cripple animals and insects if adults do not intervene in their game. Granted, I don't give a shit about animal rights, much less insect ones, and if you're not a fucking PETA idiot, you shouldn't too. However, I was making a point. Who do you think taught kids to do that shit? No one, that's who. It is society's values and, more importantly, the consequences it (society) inflicts on those who do not conform with said values which (possibly) eventually mould a cruel and sadistic child into a passably decent person. Kids are born cruel and savage. Those whom we label as criminals did not "go wrong". They're essentially the people who have retained the qualities they possessed when they were children!

It's getting worse nowadays because parents are too much of pussies to discipline their fucking kids. I see the little animals running around, screaming their lungs out and chasing each other around in public. They're such fucking nuisances. What's worse is that they have no respect for the properties of others. When I was a child, if I were out with my parents or at someone else's home, I'd have gotten the shit beaten out of me if I touched other people's shit. Nowadays, parents ignore that shit and even get indignant if the owners of the shit that their children touch scold their children for doing that shit. Fuck that shit. Any little motherfucker who touches my shit without permission will get the shit beaten out of his or her little spoilt brat ass, and if his parents object, I'll kick their asses too.

Hey everyone, let's face it. Kids suck ass. Here's a two step formula to solving the kid problem:

1) If you don't have kids, go sterilise yourselves right away.

2) If you have kids, shoot them and go to step (1).  ¶
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