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Sunday, July 17, 2005
Blog Con REALLY Final Update

Ok, so I went to the blog con with Injenue and King Meng, right? I was contemplating whether I should blog a narrative account about my time there, but then, shit, everyone's already had a go at that. So I shall just say that I met like, a ton of people there. Finally met the Big Fuck, and man, he was a hoot. My respect for him has increased several notches, because the fucker can really drink, man. I must admit that he's a better drinker than me. The guy is a machine. He just kept going for more. Also, he's full of funny ideas. We crashed the VIP room and saw tits! Celebrity tits some more leh! MUAHAHAHAHA! I actually thought that the celebrity in question would turn out to be one ugly bitch, but as it turned out, she's actually rather petite. 干A!

I also met the Macniverse geek. Man, she's even more gorgeous in real life than in pictures, and so is her girlfriend. Oh wait, was that her girlfriend? Ah, nevermind, they were both fucking gorgeous anyway, heheheh. Ooh, and she took a fag from me! Woohoo, I gave the mighty Popagandhi a fag! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Man, I am so starstruck.

Then there was Agagooga, with his silky locks. Someone had put hairclips on him and he looked just darling, heheheheh. He seemed surprisingly reserved, though. Shit, my tenses seem to be going all over the place, but who cares, right?

I also met Daniel, who actually turned out to be the Scarecrow from Batman Begins. Shiiiit. Anyway, if you want to see his picture, you can refer to Sheena's post about the blog con.

The young lad, Darth Sidious, was also there, along with young Hejin. Man, they were so cute.

Eileen was there too, and she painstakingly corrected my pronunciation of her name. Apparently, it's pronounced as "I-lean" instead of "E-lean". So now you know, guys. Yes, I know that about a thousand of you are going to comment telling me that you already knew that. Whatever, do I look like I care? Anyway, nice to finally meet you, babe.

Also, I met the ever-adorable Blinkymummy and Moby Beng. Nice meeting you again, guys, heheheh. Anyway, that cock 小beng was there! And he saw me! And . . . didn't say hello. Cheebye! How can like that? You very dao leh! I very very disappointed, man.

The delectable Celle also came. She even brought her mum along. Ok, there's a rather funny story here. See, after the blog con, some of us were wondering where to party. Injenue had friends going over to Chinablack, while Blinkymummy was going to Zouk. Celle, on the other hand, was going over to Suntec to catch the Ministry Of Sound. The Big Fuck decided to go with Celle, but said he might come join us later, while I decided to go to Chinablack. Seriously, Chinablack sucks. The queue was so fucking long, and it didn't even move at all during the 15-20 minutes that we were queueing there. We already had friends up there, so we knew the place was fucking empty. So, what's the fucking big idea? I know that this is common practise, but jeez, these guys carry it to extremes. I mean, I don't care if they do it to some dumb kids, but hey, I am the motherfucking El Supremo of LEWD, ok! Sucky place. I'm not going back there unless I can jump queue, man.

So anyway, Injenue and I got tired of queueing up and decided to go off. Injenue went home, while I thought I'd head over to Suntec to look for Celle and the Big Fuck. So here's what happened. The Big Fuck and I were like fucking star-crossed lovers brudders, man. I found Celle, and she brought me in. She even got me cigars and drinks! Man, Celle sure is one great chick to know, haha. Thanks, babe! However, the thing is, the Big Fuck was no longer there! They'd lost him! So I danced there for a while, and man, Celle sure dances well to trance. You rock, babe! Anyway, I left early, because I felt sort of lonesome without any of my homies around (sorry about that, Celle). When I got home, I saw the Big Fuck on MSN and guess what? He'd gone over to Chinablack looking for me! The irony of it all. We both concluded, however, that it had been a good night, because afterall, we got free drinks and, damn it all, we saw tits!

Disclaimer: You may think, from the tone of the author's musings, that the author has never seen tits before. That is patently untrue. The author would like to clarify that he has seen lots of tits, ok? It's just because these tits were celebrity tits and were, moreover, unexpected, that the author has come across as somewhat starstruck. An unexpected set of tits is always a gift, ok? So there.

Update: Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I met Barffie and her fiance, Naiveguy too! Nice meeting you guys! OOOMMMPPPHHH!!! \m/

Update to the update: Oh yeah! I forgot to mention Faith too! She passed me an evil pic of myself.

Thanks Faith. I look really hot in that picture.
Please refrain from using the word 'cute'. Alamak!

Like that my reputation gone down the drain leh..
How to be evil bastard liddat?
'cute' evil bastard.. eh.. no ring.
oh yea, you were cute..
What time did you and Heijin leave Darth?
it was a real pleasure to finally meet you, el supremo!

and aiyoh! i know you very pekcek i correct you about my name, but don't need to tell people mah! haha.

not to worry lah. i'm used to it. even my own cousins insist on calling me "e-lean", even though i've been correcting them since i could talk. wtf. give up already. heh.

and i'm never ever eating with you guys again! NEVER! ugh.

as for being "gay bait".. er.. i think you really are, man. bwahahaha ;)
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Yous! I've got to get my hands on yous!
You stole my thunder!

Thank goodness I recovered with my famed wit and charm.

We left right after she asked for your number.
Oh wait, you don't need that ego boost anymore..

I think it was about 10minutes into the second session.
Pretty much got bored and left.
off to somewhere else more private eh? *wink*

huh wtf? Heijin's way too young for me man..I'm sure she didn't mean it that way. the two of you look really good together though. Keep it up!

and I just realised I forgot to ask for anyone's number :p
actually the full story of how i ended up at china black is slightly more convoluted, and involves a lot of 'i thought they would be a good idea at the time' moments. I'll tell you some time if I can piece it all together.

Heh.. Go read my latest post.
It'll contain most of the answers, you seek.

And of yea, damn ST! They got the youngest person present wrong! Damn bitches!
haha, i've never seen someone so happy about giving me a ciggie. :) that wasn't exactly my girlfriend, but it's a complicated story, but i'm glad you like her as much as i do.
Adrian: It's not exactly easy to get drunk on those watered-down drinks they served, you know. And why you never call me to go see S... er, that certain celeb?

Zhe Bin: You were there?! I didn't see you! Why didn't you come say hi?

Daniel: Why did you leave so early without even saying bye to me? Did you consider I might be thinking of you? Did you consider that I might miss you? Did you consider that we could have arranged a date before you ran off? *pouts*

Sid: You guys were really cute what . . . and to think you might never have met if not because of me. I am so touched by my own greatness.

Daniel: I just realised I have nothing to say to you because you haven't been talking to me here, hahaha.

Eileen: Hahaha, like that you think I gay bait already ar? Wait till you see me dance, man!

Joel: Dude, take your time. You drank enough to drown a lesser man.

Sid: What youngest person?

Popagandhi: Of course! Anyone can go look at a celeb, but giving a celeb a hoon ki is like, getting an autograph or something. And as far as I'm concerned, both of you were smokin'! What happened to your site, by the way? I miss your writing!
Sheena: Ehh, it just happened so fast that I only had time for the instinctive reaction of going "TIIITTTIIIIEEESSS" in my mind, man.
celebrity tits???? man I shouldn't have left so early!
for how long were they flashed Adrian?

Sheena, you and Faith looked SO rapt by the techie talk that I didn't want to disturb you. Somemore it would have been quite distracting to the audience if I had walked here and there in front of them.
Make it up to you next time ok? Haha

Till the next time, guys!
my site's been kicked off the server - AGAIN - for apparently causing server overloads, same reason as the last. hosting woes.

just signed up for a kickass hosting account but essentially will need to beg and put up a donation box to support that lah. should be back shortly.
Daniel: Oh, for like two minutes or so. But it was plenty, man. My cup runneth over and shit.

Popagandhi: I'm sorry to hear that. You're just too popular lah. Anyway, I can't really donate much because I'm just a poor student, but when you get it up, I'll donate a buck o' five as a token of appreciation for helping me occupy my free time. :D
Wah liew...I miss the flashing! Dang...

About Sid's ranting about the Youngest Blogger part, see the Sunday Times...or his site (there's a picture about it.)
You'd be reserved too if you had those clips in your hair :) Hahahaha
I've an evil picture of you
A little blur, but that adds to the evil-ness =x i think =x


and Agagooga's always reserved when u meet him for the first time. U almost get lulled into thinking he's harmless. Then he warms up to u and u realise - it's not the clips that're holding him back =p
Thanks for mentioning me. :D

Nice meeting you too! Too bad didn't quite talk much with you, too busy being a social butterfly, flitting here and there saying hi and bye lor :P
Agagooga: That's why I keep my hair short. To socialise. Hahaha.

Faith: Thanks for the picture!

Barffie: Haha ok, I very shy one mah, not much to say also.
that picture effectively portrays your "redness" by the end of the free flow.

and stop blaming big fuck and his awesome drinking prowess!

I got donaq-ed~! lol

Thanks for the link, ultimate evil-ness =p

Daniel: We were not rapt by the talk lor! =p it's the art of looking-interested-when-u're-not =x very useful in tutorials. But yeah, nice to meet you =p you can make it up to sheena by taking pictures of urself in ur army uniform. lol
Eileen: Oi! I normally quite godlike one ok. But the Big Fuck is a goddamned machine!

Faith: Hahaha, no problemo, dudette.
oh, you mean air force uniform.

bwahaha Adrian, this place is turning into a chatroom.
Daniel: Yes, well, chat away. I live to please, heheheh.
hello everybody from a sickly blinkymummy....
nice meeting you people at blog conf.

i dun hv access to IM now so cannot IM pple. can only leave msg.

some girl left a comment on my blog saying that i was too swamped by male bloggers for her to think that i wld entertain her.

wah lau... boji then blame me.
blinkymummy: Eh? Got meh? I re-read the comments again....who issit?

Adrian: Yea, lucky you dun have a tagboard, else we'll be turning THAT into a chatroom.

And thanks for linking my blog! :P

(Sorry, El Supremo, that I'm using your blog to whore for uniform pics. Talking about that, I'd like to see you in uniform too, thanks!)
BM: I think girls just generally don't have balls (boji) by default from birth lah. :p

KingMeng: Hahaha, I used to have one, but I preferred getting comments, so I removed it. Besides, tagboards invite idiots.

Sheena: Go right ahead. And no, there are no pictures of me in uniform anywhere in the known world today. Maybe when LEWD acquires its own army, I'll wear its uniform lah. ;)
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Sheena: dowant la...I shy..

heheh, I have an image in my head of LEWD's army being comprised of millions of Darth Vader lookalikes. That kind of uniform :p

and you're damn right about tagboards inviting idiots... aren't you just glad that the average IQ of your regular readers is in the triple-digits?
hello blinkmummy :) get well soon ok?

daniel : the men can wear darth vader costumes and adopt "darth" names. "darth supremo". heh.

but for the women hor.. can i please wear the princess leia costume?! darth vader costume very hot leh! bwahahaha!
Hahaha I only thought Daniel was handsome, that's all. At least I know I don't have bad taste cus all the other bloggers agree too. Hurhur.
Daniel: Yes, of course. Intelligent blogs deserve intelligent readers.

Eileen: I think every male here would say, "YES, PLEASE"

Hejin: Hehehehe, now now, don't make Sid jealous.
Golden Bikini...Mmm...
Heh.. I'd elect to wear my robes though.
Durasteel is soo last summer...
Dammit, I missed so much...

Oh well, next time LEWD must go drinking. Or clubbing. Or just go somewhere and plot the takeover oof the world.
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To Those Who Wish To Link Me:

Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.

Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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