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Tuesday, July 12, 2005
California Fitness vs Don A.Q.

Today, a representative of California Fitness (CF) called me up. She told me that a friend of mine had given them my name for complimentary membership to CF. Apparently, I could get a pass that would make me a complimentary member of CF for 7 days. My bullshit detectors went off. I know, I know, they really have such a thing, but the bullshit was that I know of no one whom I would call "friend" and who was also in fucking CF. Here's the ensuing conversation.

AQ: Yeah? Who's this friend of mine?
CF: I do not know. It's all computerised.
AQ: I see . . .
CF: So when would you be free to come pick up your pass, sir?
AQ: Well, I'm not really interested, thank you.
CF: Oh. You're not really keen, huh? May I know why?
AQ: Well, I'm not a gym person. I enjoy being soft, fat and pampered.
CF: Hmmm . . . well, then do you know of any friends who might be interested?

Naturally, I wasn't about to give them any of my friends' numbers. So here's what I answered.

AQ: Nope. I have no friends.
CF (in a disbelieving tone of voice): You have no friends?
AQ (cheerfully): Yep! Not a single one!
CF: Ok bye. *click*

Shit, I'm an asshole. And I enjoy being one way too much.
You could've referred her to me.
Haha, it'd be bloody interesting messing with her..
haha, ok gimme your number and i'll refer the next sucker to you. :p
Wahahah. I wanna be an asshole too but most of the times I'm too nice to be one. Damn. I wanna piss off some telemarketer as well. Wow wow wee!
That sounded like a lot of fun. More fun than the combined fun I have had the past 4 days. Lol...
Barffie: All it takes to be nasty is an effort will, my friend.

Feisty Bitch: Haha, it was just a phone conversation, babe.
haha eye for an eye?
eh. you have no friends, but you have plenty of minions. right?!

dude. you shoulda told her to call me!

anything FREE is GOOD. tsk. i'm such a cheapo.
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Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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