We Want Pussy
Ok, I got these hilarious links from Eileen's blog. Check out the Men's room monologue, the talking genitals and the stick figure bengs. Please note that only Singaporeans and possibly Malaysians may understand that last link.

I was going to write an entry about how to hit on chicks after the fiasco that erupted over my half-arsed attempt at matchmaking, but then I figured that it really wouldn't do to have every Tom's hairy dick out there knowing all my secrets. Actually, that wouldn't matter, since I'm not only more handsome, I'm also way smarter than all you other fucktard dicks out there, but it really, really wouldn't do to have the prey know all the hunters' tricks, now, would it? Then, they might actually have a fighting chance, and if there's one thing I hate, it's a sporting challenge. I want all my conquests to be as effortless as possible. If the issue is in doubt, why bother, right?

So anyway, if any of you poor dateless buggers have any dating questions for me, you may direct them to my email. I probably won't reply, but hey, you're already so fucking desperate that anything's worth a shot, right? In fact, all I'll probably do is to laugh at your dumbasses publicly, but since the mailing address is there anyway, go knock yourselves out, bitches.

I will just say this here and now, though. You know how chicks always advice you to be sincere? Don't be believing any of that shite. As Hitch (as in the title character of the Will Smith movie) might have said, you need "game". Nothing's worse than going up to a chick and earnestly telling her that she has tits a lactating cow would be proud of and would she therefore please get naked with you as soon as humanly possible. Trust me, honesty just doesn't work with chicks. Not even if you say please. Chicks are such hypocrites. Good thing they're not very smart.

Come, now, you chicks out there. I'm sure you do realise on some level that pussy is really all we men are after, don't you?

Heheheh, all those guys who are fucking players out there and who read my blog are probably calling down fire and brimstone upon my head for exposing this fact right about now. Well, guess what, losers?



Fuck off.

P.S. Donlee has a rather entertaining, if slightly verbose, entry on this subject. If I say it's good, it's good, ok? Go check it out, bitches.  ¶
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