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Saturday, July 02, 2005
 
We Want Pussy

Ok, I got these hilarious links from Eileen's blog. Check out the Men's room monologue, the talking genitals and the stick figure bengs. Please note that only Singaporeans and possibly Malaysians may understand that last link.

I was going to write an entry about how to hit on chicks after the fiasco that erupted over my half-arsed attempt at matchmaking, but then I figured that it really wouldn't do to have every Tom's hairy dick out there knowing all my secrets. Actually, that wouldn't matter, since I'm not only more handsome, I'm also way smarter than all you other fucktard dicks out there, but it really, really wouldn't do to have the prey know all the hunters' tricks, now, would it? Then, they might actually have a fighting chance, and if there's one thing I hate, it's a sporting challenge. I want all my conquests to be as effortless as possible. If the issue is in doubt, why bother, right?

So anyway, if any of you poor dateless buggers have any dating questions for me, you may direct them to my email. I probably won't reply, but hey, you're already so fucking desperate that anything's worth a shot, right? In fact, all I'll probably do is to laugh at your dumbasses publicly, but since the mailing address is there anyway, go knock yourselves out, bitches.

I will just say this here and now, though. You know how chicks always advice you to be sincere? Don't be believing any of that shite. As Hitch (as in the title character of the Will Smith movie) might have said, you need "game". Nothing's worse than going up to a chick and earnestly telling her that she has tits a lactating cow would be proud of and would she therefore please get naked with you as soon as humanly possible. Trust me, honesty just doesn't work with chicks. Not even if you say please. Chicks are such hypocrites. Good thing they're not very smart.

Come, now, you chicks out there. I'm sure you do realise on some level that pussy is really all we men are after, don't you?

Heheheh, all those guys who are fucking players out there and who read my blog are probably calling down fire and brimstone upon my head for exposing this fact right about now. Well, guess what, losers?



Fuck off.

P.S. Donlee has a rather entertaining, if slightly verbose, entry on this subject. If I say it's good, it's good, ok? Go check it out, bitches.
 
Comments:
*Sicilian accent*
This town ain't big enough for 2 Dons...let's settle it old New York style.
 
Heh.. What, all men are after pussy?
Awww, I'm not 16 yet, stop putting ideas into my head!

Heh, and I wouldn't advice people to sign up for your matchmaking course either. I want my money back!
Oh, it was free.
 
daniel: Times have changed. It's not like the old Days, when we can do anything we want.

But just this once,I say we settle it the old way...

We'll see who can pee the furthest.

It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business.

Lol...

Darth sidious: Shhh! You might offend the all powerful pussy god with your blasphemy...

Bewarned, he might just curse you to be pussyless till you're 45. Or worst, he'll curse you to be pussywhipped...

*Chanting* Oh dark, all powerful pussy god...
 
Daniel: What are you talking about, man? The Corleones coexisted peacefully with the Five Families, didn't they? I'm sure I can come to some accomodation with Donlee. I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.

Sid: Dude, I did manage to get her IM for you, didn't I? The rest is up to you, man. Anyway, did you add her or not? What the hell, you want money back I'm gonna have to send my punks to deal with you.

Donlee: Man, if I didn't know better, I'd have thought you were praying to me. >:)
 
adrian:
Yep.. I've added her. Haha... I'll get my money back later.

Donlee:
No way, man! My sexual charms are Irresitable!
 
pffft. men! pfffft.

and i just have to get this off my chest :

bloody hell!! I AM SMART OK! i am not one of those silly head not screwed on properly giggly giggly little girls! na beh..

which is why i know that everything men say always, always leads back to fornication. tsk.

pffft.
 
Sid: Ah ok, then. My job is done. Good luck to the both of you. :)

Eileen: Why, I am hurt by what you said, woman. Couldn't you see that this post was the work of a mind desperately in need of love and attention? It was just a cry for help, really. I do not actually want pussy, I swear. >:)
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
That was until Sollozzo came into the picture. That's me *evil snicker*

One of you will be sleeping with the fishes before the day is done.
 
adrian: You? The Pussy god? No no. Blasphemy! Faugh!

So tell me, whats the offer I can't refuse? :P

darth said: I'm sorry sid, but aren't you still a virgin? :P

Eileen: Give us men a chance~ We're not that bad.. You seem like an intelligent understanding person... You can look past the smaller picture right?

daniel: Didn't you hear? He'll make me an offer I can't refuse... So then, when you come in, I'll make you an offer you can't refuse... *Hint-hint*
 
Daniel: Heheh, actually it was the Don's underling, Luca Brasi who slept with the fishes. And Michael made his bones by killing you. In the end, the Corleones still made peace with the rest of the Families (although with the aid of a bit of murder).

Donlee: How about LEWD membership? :D
 
ei|een:
Haha.. You got into LEWD alright didn't you?
That's got to be saying something...

don lee: Erm.. That's just a minor technicality. And hey, less than 6 months
till I'm of legal age, to contract as many STDs as I like.

Daniel:
haha.. Man, still talkinga bout gangsters?

adrian:
Heh.. I think that would be appropriate, seeing that he was one of my pioneer readers.. Heh, it would
do my ego good to have him join LEWD. Haha...
 
Sid: Well, if he puts up a LEWD Badge, I'll link him.
 
Eileen ==> Lax, relax. You smart, you clever, ok? You so smart that you make einstein look like a dumbass ok? Ah, Satisfied?

Adrian ==> What's this LEWD thingy really bout, still don't understand but interested.

Daniel & Darth Sidous : Don't tell me you guys going to repeat the Stickman gangster thingy in Eileen's blog

Don Lee: Someone else declared him/her as pussy god already, forgot who. And your bladder must be bloody tight to pee that far, kidding.

Do get Offended, Just Kidding.
 
heheh, the things Lupin says...
 
adrian: LEWD? U mean... Share the world? After I take it over?

Tell you what, just for the heck of it, Since I'll be "doing time" I'll be lewd. Wait... I'm always lewd.. :P

I mean, as long as its along the way... I'll be a part of L.E.W.D. I probably won't mind... Sharing. Probabaly... *Evil maniacal laugh*

DONE!

darth sid: Minor technicality? I'd think not. Come back when you know how to do the flaming amazon...

Lupin Tan: Its not the bladder that matters... Its something else all together... *Snicker*
 
adrian : cry for help?! pfffft. don't bluff. it is a travesty for someone like the el supremo of such a powerful organisation like LEWD to display such pansy like emotions. muahahaha *evil grin*

don lee : sigh. fine. since you have stroked my ego and inflated my pretty little head, i shall attempt to look past this. after all, i AM such a wonderful, loving, kind, magnaminous, forgiving, all-round-super-powderful-mega-awesome girl. oh. and i'm damn humble too! bwahahaha!

sid : i did, didn't i.. hmm. yay! *grins insanely*

lupin : of course i'm satisfied! you speak the truth! haha! :p
 
Heheheh, I was just being funny. I am, of course, beyond such petty emotions.
 
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Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)


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