We Can Do Without The Bullshit
Once upon a long time ago, the Evil Canadian and I used to frequent this online forum. Also posting on that forum was a sanctimonious bitch who shall remain unnamed (because she has changed for the better since then). One day, she posted some characteristically patronising crap. Here it is.

Guidance: .Definition
The act or process of guiding.
Counseling, such as that provided for students seeking advice about vocational and educational matters.
Any of various processes for guiding the path of a vehicle, especially a missile, by means of built-in equipment.

Guidance: A Story
When I think about the word guidance, the first thing that
strikes me is the word dance at the end. Next, I see the
letters "U" and "I" in front of the "dance". As we all
know, it takes two to dance (if you think about ballroom-
type dancing). It is also logical that if both parties try
to lead, the dance will not be fluid, but jerky in nature.
This is because both are struggling for dominance in the
dance, to be in control. On the other hand, if one party
lets the other lead, the dance will be a beautiful thing to
behold.

This is true of most relationships as well. In particular,
when I look back at the word "guidance", I see the first
letter "G", which I have not commented on yet. The first
word beginning with G which comes to mind is God. As in the
analogy above, our lives would me much better if we just
turned over the reins to Him and let Him guide us through
life, to achieve all we are capable of. If we think we know
better, and try to muddle through it on our own, we would
only end up making a mess.

So, the next time you see the word Guidance, think of this:
God, you and I dance

Seriously, can anyone read this kind of balderdash and not get the sudden urge to repeatedly stab the person who posted it in the head with a dull fork? The Evil Canadian, being the fucking funny sarcastic fucker that he is, said this in reply.

Thanks for the story, allow me to share one I just wrote too!

Bullshit: A Story

When I think about the word Bullshit, the first thing that
strikes me is the letters "U" and "I" in the word. As in "U" type bullshit and "I" can't help reading it.

In particular, when I look back at the word "Bullshit", I see the first letter "B", which I have not commented on yet. The first other
word beginning with B which comes to mind is Buddha. As in the
analogy above, our lives would me much better if we just
stopped all the bullshit and learned to think for ourselves, Just like Buddha said we should. "Gripped by fear men go to the sacred mountains, sacred groves, sacred trees and shrines" he said.

If everyone were to act like sheep their whole life and never think for themselves or act independently, we'd still be stuck in the stone age hunting our food with a stick. Not every leader has your best intentions at heart, so the next time you see the word Bullshit, think of this:

Think for yourself instead of just following the other sheep. :)

I think all our lives would be better if we just cut out all the fucking bullshit. There's way too much bullshit going around and it does nothing but waste everyone's time. I attended this pre-departure seminar for students going to Australia in the afternoon, and the minute it started, my bullshit detectors just overloaded. They had this guest of honour big shot, who went on stage and wasted a good ten minutes of my life with bullshit. What did he say? Well, it's more or less something along the lines of how positive an experience going to Australia would be, how great a place Australia is, how going to Australia would change all the students, blah fucking blah.

As a hypothetical student going to Australia for further studies, I'd have this to say. We've already decided to go, motherfucker. We don't need your long-winded ass trying to sell us the fucking place some more, man. Furthermore, we're fucking Singaporeans, we don't give a shit about positive, horizons-broadening experiences. We just want the fucking certificate so we can fucking make more money, fucks yeah. So why don't you just fucking get on to the part where we actually get information we need, you old fart?

Ok, I was writing that rant when I was hungry. Now that I've just had supper, I feel much more kindly disposed towards the world in general, so I shall just stop here. Adios, amigos.  ¶
Permalink

If you don't like what I say, why not subscribe me for some porn?