I was just thinking that I should get a cat. Then I could go around meeting people who own hamsters. I'd shake their hands and tell them, "Hi! You know, my pet can eat your pet."
So I was smoking in the corridor today, and this little kid living in the opposite block kept shouting "uncle" to me. I waved to her and she waved back, and when I'd finished my fag and was going back in, she shouted "uncle bye bye" to me and waved her little mitts again. The brat was so fucking adorable. I mean, she was, like, shouting out to me across the fucking car park. I could just eat her up. I'd started sharpening my fork before I realised that perhaps eating up the neighbours' kids wouldn't be very good for the chances of my continued residence in Singapore.
That is all.