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Sunday, June 19, 2005

I was just thinking that I should get a cat. Then I could go around meeting people who own hamsters. I'd shake their hands and tell them, "Hi! You know, my pet can eat your pet."

So I was smoking in the corridor today, and this little kid living in the opposite block kept shouting "uncle" to me. I waved to her and she waved back, and when I'd finished my fag and was going back in, she shouted "uncle bye bye" to me and waved her little mitts again. The brat was so fucking adorable. I mean, she was, like, shouting out to me across the fucking car park. I could just eat her up. I'd started sharpening my fork before I realised that perhaps eating up the neighbours' kids wouldn't be very good for the chances of my continued residence in Singapore.

That is all.
I think the 小妹妹 is lan hong.
Adrian is an UNCLE. Old geezer liao. Mwahahahahahaha...
BM: Hahahaha, you are really a funny mummy.

Sheena: Geezer your head.
I'll be quite sad if kids call me aunty.
Buy a lion with frickin' laser beams...then you can go up to ANY pet owner and tell em the same thing.
Get a pet grizzly bear... or crocodile... or heck, when I finally get around to cloning some Tyrannosaurus, I'll give you the perfect gift - bodyguard, status symbol and enemy disposal in one 12 metre, 6-ton package.
You are not alone, I got colleauges who address me as "uncle" in front of their children. "Come children, meet uncle Lupin", I was like shit, I am only quarter of a century old, single and unmarried and have kiddy cousin 20 years younger than me, and now I been labelled as an uncle. I think I will never get a gf liao. Maybe I should just go vietnam to find a freaking wife.
Feisty Bitch: Why? It's a respectful honorific, right?

Metalfyre and Ivan: I just want something that can eat small, cute little rodents, not something that can eat ME!

Lupin: I think you're partially right.
UNCLE ADRIAN!! hahahaha! i can lend you my cat for a trial run if you want. but he's not very good, i warn you. bloody lazy, pampered fuzzball.. eat boiled prawns and de-boned fish everyday, sleep aircon room.. wah lau..

on another note, i used to get miffed when kids called me auntie, but now i'm just used to it already. sigh. what to do? old already. I AM A DINOSAUR ALREADY! argh!
eh uncle..i always told you you old liao rite..haha.. unlike me.. still in my youth.. =)

anyway did u check out the xiao mei mei then? hehe..u never know if she has a pretty elder sis!
Adrian, hey weren't you were 3 feet tall? That would make lions lil kitties by comparison. hehe :D

Btw, who needs a cat. I'll eat a hamster anytime myself. Muahhaha!

Icebreeze: Help u check for pretty elder sis is it???!!!! (-_-")
I have a hamster but I wish I had a cat as well.

Don't worry....a lot of people also call me uncle. Fucknuts.

You rock at this post.
"I think you're partially right."

Haha I'm trying to guess which part.
Eileen: I only like strays. :p

Icebreeze: Wah seh, they would need more than ten years' difference in age to make her elder sis even relevant to me leh.

Wade: Haha, I am a giant only some of the time.:p

Feisty Bitch: Don't blame the sprout, it's just the way we talk. :p

sb: Yeah, man. I don't really mind being called that by a toddler lah. :D

LIP: Thanks, babe!

Daniel: You were always one of the sharper readers. >:)
Adrain, Daniel: Mine guess is the "You are not alone" part.

Crazy post. Heh..
Only you could pull off something quite like this.
Please tell me you're a fan of J. D. Salinger. You sound exactly like Holden Caulfield from "Catcher in the Rye".

Excellent post.
Sid: Hehehe, thanks man.

Screwy Skeptic: Thanks, but I've never heard of J. D. Salinger, though "Catcher in the Rye" does ring a bell.
Hm. The protagonist pretty much talks in the same tone you use in this post for the entire book. You might like it. Scratch that. You would most definitely like it.
Ah, ok. I'll try to get my paws on a copy. :D
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Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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