Fuck the flashers
Which is more important? Content or packaging? If someone says something smart, but his language sucks, is what he says still smart? Of course! Not just yeah, but fuck, yeah! What am I referring to, you might ask? I'm referring to websites. Whether they be blogs, corporate websites or personal homepages, the most important thing about them has got to be the content. Most people overlook that, which is why about 80% of the fucking internet should be taken offline. How does any website suck? Let me count the ways.

First and foremost, of course, comes the blogs. This, as the less unobservant of you might have noticed by now, is one of my pet peeves. A friend of mine once condemned a blog that I like to read just because the English that it's written in is less than perfect. Well, perfect English it may not be written in, but what attracted me to the blog was not a clever turn of phrase but the content. Yes, some phrases the author uses may be jarring to those who are anal-retentive, but she does have intelligent opinions, which is what should matter. Added to that, I also find her funny, but that is a matter of taste, of course. Because of that, I ignore her smugness at being famous and her bad English. Then this friend of mine showed me a blog which she liked because it "paints pictures". I was aghast at the amount of redundant bombast in that blog. Mistake me not, humble readers, if you're the sort who blogs as if writing a diary and you don't go around showing your blog to other people, then whatever you write on your blog is your own damned business. However, if you want other people to read your blog, then it had better be about something. What's the use of typing with a thesaurus beside your keyboard when all you're trying to say is "I made out with this girl I don't intend to marry"? What kind of a fucking moron does that? So you made out with the bitch. Yay for you. Now, fuck off. Jeez, get the fuck over yourself already. As another friend of mine was telling me while I was typing this entry, "It paints pictures. Of the insides of his intestines". In other words, it's crap. Crap is crap, no wonder how you disguise it with long words, duh.

Then we come to the over-enthusiastic flash users. For your fucking information, there are actually still people on this planet who don't use a fucking broadband connection and who thus wouldn't take too kindly to having to wait for your fucking precious flashy animations to download. You lose at least a quarter of your potential audience if you start using flash to do everything. Of course, the other 75% are fucking childish morons who can and will be impressed by bright lights and moving images. These people of course do not realise that flash animations are really not that hard to do. All you really have to do is to buy the fucking software, read the help files, and point and click. Fuck that wimpy shit. It takes a helluva lot more talent to do a decent site using just HTML and javascript, and the page loads a helluva lot faster too. Of course, most people are dumb so they don't realise this. They see a flash animation and go "ooh, this is such a nice site, so whatever is inside must be good stuff too." Bullshit. If you can't tell the difference between zero-content-but-nifty-looking-slush and a site with good content and no unnecessary graphics, you should just give your computer to someone more deserving.

Then there are the people who do know how to use HTML but fuck it up anyway. Use either a light background with dark text or a dark background with light text, you idiots. When a surfer looks at your site, he does not want to be blinded by all the fucking conceivable shades of the rainbow. Concentrate on your fucking content instead of trying to impress us with your knowledge of how to use HTML to make text blink or flash. Concentrate on the content instead of trying to crash our machines with popups. Concentrate on the content instead of experimenting with 72 different kinds of fonts.

Remember: content is always more important than appearance. Well, except where chicks are concerned, of course. Before you accuse me of hypocrisy, I would like to invite you to kiss my ass. I have the right to decide where or who to put my dick into, asshole.  ¶
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