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Sunday, October 10, 2004
Singaporean blogs suck.

I was bored and randomly reading blogs the other day and I was somewhat surprised to find that maybe 1/4 of the blogs I got directed to were written by Singaporeans. Wow, I wasn't aware that so many Singaporeans blogged. I was even more surprised to find that all of them sucked. I don't just mean that they sucked in comparison to this blog, since every other blog sucks in comparison to mine. I mean they really sucked, as in not even half as non-sucky as, say, Ivan's or Gerald's blog. Nothing personal, guys. That's just the way it is.

I hear you humble readers clamouring for links to the fucking lousy blogs I mentioned above so that you may more properly revile them, but I am not going to post any links. That is a good thing, people, because I am very much afraid that stupidity might be infectious. That may seem to you to be a silly notion, but considering the countless slobbering hordes of slack-jawed retards infesting the streets these days, I think it is more than reasonable to suppose that these semi-zombies who lurch around from fad to fad are contagious.

You guys will just have to take my word for it. Most of the blogs written by Singaporeans suck abysmally. More than a few of them use the oh-so-unique alternating caps style of typing. Is that supposed to express individuality or something? Individuality is expressed by the content of your writing, you dorks. Lots of them use pink or yellow fonts against black backgrounds. As if their content does not already induce nausea, they seem to feel this compelling need to make absolutely sure that you cannot read their blogs without feeling the need to hurl all over your room.

Most of these blogs I mentioned are about the author and his/her girlfriend/boyfriend. As if anyone wants to know. Yes, I can already hear some idiots telling me this. "But Adrian! Isn't the Internet about free speech? Don't they have the right to say whatever they want to say? LOL OMFG WTF!!!111"

The answer to that, of course, is a big, fat "NO". They have no right to anything because they're idiotic teenagers who know fuck all. They cause a drop in the average intelligence of Internet content, which is already pretty dumb as it is, and they are a disgrace to my country. If you're not linked on my blog, your blog, in all probability, sucks. Come to think of it, some of the blogs I link suck too. If I haven't told you that your blog is moderately tolerable, your blog sucks and you should stop blogging. Do something constructive with your time instead, like digging mass graves with your friends and jumping into them. I'll gladly fill them up for you. You people are a waste of my fucking oxygen.

Here's an example of a good blog written by a Singaporean. Read it and weep, bitches.
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To Those Who Wish To Link Me:

Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.

Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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