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Tuesday, July 19, 2005
 
Rambling About Smoking

Has anyone noticed that there are more and more smokers around these days? Especially female smokers. This government long-term campaign thing really isn't working. Oh, I think there was a time when it really did, a coupla years ago. It was the time when cigarettes cost a mere two times as much as what they cost in Malaysia. Back then, people were quitting smoking in droves. Then, they increased the price further and banned it in most public places, and suddenly, everyone starts smoking. It's the fucking cool factor effect. See, I think that most people have an unconscious resentment of authority, hence anything that the authorities frown upon is instantly perceived as being cool.

I think that is so silly. I, for one, agree with everything that the authorities does and I think that authority figures are uber cool. And who can deny that anti-smoking posters are pure fucking genius? I mean, can you look at the (ahem) dashing guy below and not want to be him?



I think not.

Personally, I had my first puff way before I was ten years old. I remember it rather clearly, though I do not remember exactly how old I was. See, almost all the males in my family are smokers. There was this one time, at a family gathering, when my uncle was smoking while he read the papers. He left his cigarette on an ashtray and, since he was reading the papers and not watching us, we figured that it would be a good opportunity to taste the forbidden fruit. So it was that my cousins, my brother and I, afire with the curiosity of extreme youth, surreptitiously grabbed the smoking fag and took a puff each. And that is the story of how I started smoking.

Some of you may be shocked that we started so young, but seriously, it was for the best. After all, second-hand smoke is supposedly more harmful than first-hand smoke, right? I think that it's better to smoke than to passive smoke, especially given that the typical face of someone at one of our family gatherings looked something like this.



Ah, the things we did when we were younger, eh? Anyway, so I have been smoking on and off basically since I was 12. I started to smoke really regularly when I was about 16. Before that, I was just a social smoker. Yes, I do realise that was a redundant statement, because I think all smokers started off as social smokers. In fact, it was the Blinkymummy who told me that last night. Then I said in jest that, you never know, some people might have actually made a conscious decision to start smoking just as others make a conscious decision to stop. So Joe Non-Smoker, who has never taken a single puff in his life, may wake up one day and go, "Ok, that's it. I've had it with being a non-smoker. From now on, I'm going to be a smoker and smoke my fucking lungs out."

Thereafter, Joe Non-Smoker goes out and buys a carton of cigarettes and just starts smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. He's pretty regimental about it, too. He smokes on the dot every hour or so, just so you know he means business. He even keeps a schedule of it.



However, I digress. I was talking about how I started smoking. You know how many people started smoking regularly because of peer pressure? Well, I didn't. I started smoking regularly because of family pressure. It's practically an unspoken rule that males in my family have to pick up smoking once they reach an uncertain age. Some of us start even before that. Frankly, I didn't really give a shit about my peers, because at that age, just about every guy around me was a fucking idiot. I did, however, give a shit about my cousins and my brother, so we just basically all started smoking together.

This habit has stayed with me for about ten years now, more if you count the years I spent being a social smoker, and I must say that it has been an extremely enjoyable habit. Because of smoking, my cousins, my brother and I maintained our bond throughout the years. Because of smoking, I met the One True Buddy of my army life, erm, let's call him CBB. Because of smoking, I got gold in IPPT in the army (that's the fitness test, in case you didn't know). Yes, almost all the smokers I knew in the army got silver and above for IPPT because they felt a pressure to excel.

Oh, wait, what was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Smoking is baaad. I do not really want to quit, but hey, if you haven't started, don't. I mean, sure, breathing like a dragon looks fucking cool. Sure it probably won't kill you for years to come. Sure, there are many social benefits. But hey, yellow teeth are so icky. And besides, the authorities tell you not to, so it must be wrong.

I'd say more, but I have to go take a smoke, so I'll leave you with this quote.

"Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smoky teat."
- Gunther, Friends


 
Comments:
woah, do all your family members look like they have emerged from the bowels of Hell? :p

one more thing, is your army buddy CBB or CCB?
 
haha. hey. i seriously "made a conscious decision to start smoking just as others make a conscious decision to stop". i just told myself i want to smoke lah.

and the previous times i tried to quit smoking (first by smoking lesser, which is crap) was hell. i kept hypnotising myself i'm quitting smoking. but reminding myself that i'm feeling bad all the time.

till one fine day i ran outta cigs in the morning and i resisted the temptation to buy. the cold turkey was hell. but i made it. that was after 5 years, which is fucking small fry to u lah.

above was just a tip for smokers who want to quit smoking. for those who don't, i made a lot of friends (esp gals) through smking too. haha!
 
fuck man. you need to quit writing fantastic stuff like this. its criminal.

and its true when they say smokers are the core of fast runners and ippt gold achievers in the army; numbers speak for themselves and any guy who's been through ns will probably have noticed.

just look at the movie sin constantine, or sin city for that matter. smoking never looked better, my friends.
 
Well ..... Smoking doesn't cool to me .......but it is kind of release of your soul.......

Soulless Somnambule
 
look cool.......LOL
 
That's good. But what's the connection with smoking and wanting to excel?
 
haha. cool writing! anyway hejin, smokers are condemned for having lousy stamina, can't excel in sports. so they gotta prove to ppl tt, hey, i can get a GOLD for IPPT despite smoking like a chimney at the same time. :) well, my 2cents worth.
 
Daniel: As a matter of fact, they do. But only when they're actually smoking. And it's definitely CBB and not CCB, but that's a joke targeted at an audience of 2 including myself, heheheh.

Zhe Bin: I have quitted for 3 months before, but in the end, someone pissed me off and I picked it up again. Plus there was lots of family pressure lah, hahahaha. Anyway I agree. Smoking less is bullshit lah. If you want to quit, you can only go cold turkey.

wongcheok: Yeah, the bloody coppers tried to arrest me today, which is why I'm on the lam now.

Soulless Somnabule: I think it eventually actually does release your soul, bro. Hahaha.

Anonymous: Erm, yeah, it does, although cool is of course a subjective term.

Hejin: I only saw the part about my post being good. Ok, actually, Claris answered your question perfectly. ;)

Claris: Right on, babe!
 
We had this crazy notion in army camp, cos all those who got Gold in IPPT are serious smokers.

See, to smoke, u need to inhale deeply, and exhale out, right? So when you are smoking, you are actually training your lungs.

With intensive "training", your lung capacity increase, thus your stamina increase.

Therefore, all smokers get Gold for IPPT. TA DA!
 
I wonder why your campmates didn't win the Nobel Prize for medicine :p
 
smoking kicks ass!!!

there is nothing better than a ciggy before, after and during ANY activity :p
 
"I mean, sure, breathing like a dragon looks fucking cool."

So does blowing smoke rings =p lol
 
if i had ten bucks left in my wallet, and i was starving to death, i would still buy cigarettes and not food.

that way, even if i starve to death, at least i'll die happy.

i'm a bloody chimney. so sue me.

give me cigarettes or give me death!!
 
KM: Hahahaha, yeah that's a nice theory.

Daniel: Nobels are overrated. Slightly less prestigious than a Coolness Point.

Injenue: Damn straight!

Faith: Ooh, you noticed! Heheheh.

Eileen: Wah so extreme meh.
 
You should mention more of smoking's benefits and convince the non-smokers to join the smokers' world!

Benefits 1) Helluva way to build up your social circle.

Benefits 2) The only way to cure boredom when you're alone. Esp. when you're waiting for people cos some fuckers just can't turn up punctually. And when you get down to it, it's probably cos they drop by the mama-shop to buy ciggies before they come and missed the bus as a result. Or they just lit up when the bus came and they din want to snub it out.

Benefits 3) As eileen has mentioned, it helps to fill the stomach when you can't fucking find any good food around. Not to leave out that during traffic jams having a stick in hand beats anything else. Except perhaps having your stick in someone else's hand.... =)
 
Haiya, don't smoke la. Or at least, smoke far far away from nonsmokers because passive smoking kills. The neighbour downstairs smokes in the balcony so that all his smoke blows upwards into our hall and I suppose his kids get less smoke because of that.
 
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