What's The Scariest Of Them All?
So, Dr. Fletcher
has this post
about the belief in the supernatural or lack thereof. This sparked off a whole discussion between him and Daniel in the comments section of that post. Go read it, it's interesting. Or not. I really can't say, because I couldn't be bothered to mull through all that crap about Pascal's Wager and stuff. No offense, guys, but if I've read it once, I've read it a thousand times. To plagiarise a little, remember the saying that spiritual beliefs are like assholes. Everyone's got one. Instead of telling you all about my own asshole, I shall relate an incident that happened to yours truly. Here we go.
Now, in his post, the good doctor relates a spooky incident that happened to him while he was
in the army. Well, that sort of reminded me of a spooky incident that terrified the bejeesus out of some of my platoon mates in BMTC. See, it was after we had our Passing Out Parade and the subsequent mandatory block leave of one week. We had to go back to camp for a couple of days to clear out our stuff and also prepare the bunks for the next batch. Now, I know that a lot of you out there have some pretty spooky and scary stories about NS life, but you will never beat my friends' story. See, while they were all sleeping in the middle of the night on their beds, hands appeared simultaneously out of nowhere to grab their arms and shake them awake. I shit you not. Imagine that. You're sleeping on your bed, and suddenly, hands appear out of nowhere to grab your arm and try to pull you off your bed. And the same thing happened to all your section mates at the same time!
So what happened was everyone woke up screaming and shouting because of those hands.
The hands, of course, belonged to me and my section mates.
And I'm proud to say that it was my idea.
See, in the middle of the night, my section mates and I were
smoking in the bunk,
and having some beers
. We started to get bored, so I thought it would be a great idea to give that other section a bit of a scare, because they were a bunch of pricks who didn't know who's who in the book of fucking what. We couldn't have that, now, could we? As men, we had to prove that we were even bigger
pricks than them. So I came up with the
plan, and we executed it. We made use of our newly-acquired military skills. We leopard-crawled from our bunk to their bunk so that if any of them were awake, they wouldn't see us outside their windows. One of us peeped into their room from his prone position and used hand signals to indicate that yes, they were all asleep. We crawled in under their beds with a minimum of noise. Our instructors would have been proud. Once every man was in position, we reached up, and pulled . . .
I guess some things are more frightening than ghosts. Me, for instance.