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Wednesday, April 13, 2005
I Am Midas

First things first, my ego. As you may have noticed, I have a rather large one and, recently, it just got bigger. Check out the Big Fuck's latest post.

It seems he had a bet with a friend that he would achieve 10000 hits within a month, and he won the bet. What has this got to do with my ego, you may ask? Well, I was the first to plug his blog. Don't just take my word for it. The man himself said so in his list of people he would like to thank for helping him win the bet. Here's what he said.

I'd like to thank:

1) Adrian - man, this guy was one of the first to link me, and definitely the first to plug me. This shows his exquisite taste in blogs. Actually, this guy really does have some pretty fucking good taste in blogs; every time he plugs a blog, I check it out, and it's quality. I'd been reading Celly's blog for a while when he plugged it, and I've been thinking "shit, I wished I'd plugged her first" ever since. Seriously, you should go read his blog, not only because it is cool, but also because he has a fucking good eye for the funny.

Note that I was the first person he thanked. I think I should say something appropriate here.


You are most welcome, Big Fuck. Thank you for making my day as well! Having said that, I must say in all honesty that there's a degree of self-interest involved as well. Before explaining to you guys what it is, I shall make the observation that twice now in his blog, there have been comments about his blatant grab for fame. One of those was from an earlier post which I shall not bother to dig up, being a lazy ass, but it said something like "I enjoy your blog, but your reaching for fame is unseemly". The other one is in the latest post, and here's what it says.

"I can't help but wonder - is the 15 minutes worth all these?

I think blogging popularity is overrated. But I guess it's just me :p"

In the first place, I doubt that it is a mere 15 minutes with the Big Fuck. I'm not kidding here. The guy is talented, and will probably keep his readers for as long as they have a sense of humour. In the second place, being a bit of a fame whore myself, I must say that yes, it is totally worth it. Although I do not really blog for the sake of having more readers, it is still nice to know that people do enjoy reading what I write.

Now we come to the element of self-interest in my plugging other blogs. You see, I do want more hits, but I am unwilling to comment on blogs which I don't really like just to generate more hits. Instead, what I do is that when I come across a blog, such as the Big Fuck's, or Celly's, or Jess's blog, which I know has the potential to become hugely popular, I plug them first. Being nice people who aren't yet popular (and also because my blog totally rocks, of course), they link me in return. This would probably be more difficult if they were already popular, since I would then seem like just one of the fame whores (although I am) for linking them and commenting on their blogs. Too many people already doing that would ensure that I am but one of the crowd and this would in turn ensure that I do not get linked. In other words, Big Fuck, Jess and Celly, you've been had! I knew this would happen all along!

I think it's time for an evil laugh, don't you think?


Seriously, it's sort of like doing business. You can spend all your money buying shares in companies that are already making big money and have a small share in these companies, or you can pick a small business that shows promise, invest in it, and end up owning a larger share of it when it grows (a metaphor for being linked in their sidebars instead of being one of a thousand crummy links in their comment boxes). So, there you go, my (sort of) guide to achieving some measure of popularity for your own blog.

Of course, as in doing business, you need to have an eye for it. When I first read the Big Fuck, I told the Feisty Bitch over coffee "this guy is going to be huge". When I first read Celly, I had a similar hunch. Jess was a no-brainer. A blog with pictures of a hot babe who professes to be a slut? Come the fuck on, who could resist that?

Last of all, even if you did all of the above, you cannot ensure the popularity of your blog without the most crucial ingredient. You must write an enjoyable blog. Actually, it doesn't really matter what approach you take in your quest for popularity. If you have the content, you will have the hits. Well, sooner or later.

In an uncharacteristic moment of candour and modesty, I must confess that I think my blog will probably not end up immensely popular, partly because I do not desire that it be so. If popularity were my only goal, I'd spend my entire time doing dumbshit posts like the PubicLicezilla post. I blog partly because I like to write, and partly because I like it when people like what I write. I probably would not like it if I were as popular as Xiaxue, and my "fans" were mostly a bunch of idiots. As it is, most of the readers I am aware of are intelligent, and knowing that intelligent people like what I write is the best reward of all.

Ok, I guess that wasn't terribly modest, but what did you expect from a blog whose title is "I Rock, You Suck"?

That said, my foresight kicks ass! I am the venture capitalist of the blogging scene! So far, I've been spot on about every blog that I thought would become popular. Every blog that has been rocked by the sucker has seen huge increases in traffic. I am Midas! So if you have an unknown blog and would like to become popular, drop me a comment. If the rocker decides to suck you, you's gon be famous!
I never get the Midas touch though. But then again, I do not really pitch my blog nor ask anyone to read it.

It's still nice to get comments. In any case, I've got the use of VibroHands®™ and that's even better.
Haha... once I resume blogging, I'll start mentioning you more often, and then I can start directing traffic to you as well.

But it is quite uncannily accurate, how you discover and spot blogs that soon make it big among others... First Celle, then Big Fuck. Who next?
Oh, and by the way, Sheena's got a resident troll. Ready to kick some ass, dude?
Actually, dude, it's exactly that - I've been trying to trade links myself, and, seeing as to how we're doing this whole mutual appreciation thing, we can always work synergistically to increase our readership. Good idea, right?

Of course it's a good idea.

To be really frank, I'm fucking ambitious. Things aren't going to end at 10,000, not by a long shot; if things work out, there might even be some money coming through this shit. But yeah, first, got to get yourself a readership, man.

*Sigh* Damn. The sad thing, I'm highly doubting that I'm ever going to be highly popular. But thanks for the support! (I mean, c'mon. I have to plan 5 months in advance for a potential date? I'm thinking that this translates into online communities as well.)
Thanks though...
Midas Midas.. turn me to gold! hehe.. yeah man.. must thank you for being one of the first few to plug my blog. At first I blogged for fun too.. to channel my bullshits out, but now I see potential of greater heights. so many things u can do with the fact that hundreds of people take the effort to read what you write each day dude.. It's amazing! I am so happy that I can make hundreds laugh each day. It's my long-life aim! I am becoming ambitious too.. maybe i sponsor cars not t-shirts in the future hahaha.. i wish.. but..! REALLY HOPING!! haha.. Blogging is big shit. So thanks again and I hope we all hotten up our hit counters! Cheers!!!
I've been sucked by the rocker, but I was pretty famous by then already, even if I do say so myself.

And Hai~Ren, the resident troll has moved on to Days Were The Those and resorted to insulting Andy. Guess you can't do anything with these arses. Seriously, I don't want to do anything either, because it makes me laugh my ass off seeing their pathetic bid for attention.
Feisty Bitch: You're starting to get it. You've even been screwed by the Big Fuck.

Ivan: Man, I don't know. If I spot more I'll post them. Although this is probably detrimental to my Midas image, I must say that I don't create their popularity, though perhaps I was the pebble that started the landslide. They would have become popular anyway without my plugging. As for the troll, it seems he's already disappeared.

Big Fuck: Oh, yeah. In fact, my very next post deals with our, erm, synergy.

Jess: No problemo, babe. Do you have a webcounter? I should think your daily hits should exceed 100 easily.

Celle: You are most welcome, babe. If you do get endorsements, I shall expect a dinner treat at a fancy restaurant as thanks for the person who started it all. :p

Sheena: As I recall, I was "sheened" before you were rocked by the sucker because someone loved my blog soooo much. >=)
So dude, isn't it obvious? You got famous by getting sheened!
Ah well... Just another screw then.
Sheena: Sorry to burst your bubble, babe, but you're merely the third highest referrer on my list, lagging some 20+ hits behind Celly and the Big Fuck. Don't you think it's high time you plugged me some more? Heheheheh.
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To Those Who Wish To Link Me:

Due to the fact that my ego is a humongous, bloated monstrousity, it is not highly unlikely that I wouldn't say no to your linking my blog, so there is no need to ask me.

Winners of Adrian Coolness Points:

The Feisty Bitch: For reasons best known to ourselves. (1)
The Feisty Bitch: For getting featured on the Sunday Times (2)
Adri: For being geeky enough to write recursive prose. (1)
Sheena: For really, really liking my blog. (1)
Sheena: For the use of her finger. (2)
Sheena: For getting on the Straits Times. (3)
Ivan: For referring to me as one of "Singapore's leading bloggers". (1)
Ivan: For coming up with the PubicLicezilla idea. (2)
The Big Fuck: For being such a big fuck. (1)
The Big Fuck: For making the miniature Badge of Lewdness. (2)
Anonymous fan: For making a cool finger. (1)
Celly: For appreciating the genius behind the Pagan Bible here. (1)
Icebreeze: For being wise enough to flatter me. (1)
Barffie: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in the papers. (1)
Blinkymummy: For furthering the LEWD cause by appearing in TWO papers within the space of two days, fuckin' A! (2)
Jess: For being observant enough to spot the similarity between Lewdites and Luddites. You rock, babe. (1)
Jiameei: For being my champion against anonymous hecklers. (1)

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