Freudian Slips Are The Breast
Alcohol enhanced sleeps are the breast. Whenever I sleep after drinking, I tend to sleep very little and wake up refreshed anyway. In fact, I usually wake up even more refreshed than when I have had, say, 8 hours of non-alcohol enhanced sleep. Why this is so, I have no fucking idea. It just is. I am also one of those lucky buggers who have never had a hangover before, which probably explains why I enjoy drinking so much. I get the highs without the headaches. Seriously, if I were the type of wimp who had hangovers, I wouldn't drink at all, and I am at a loss to understand why people who do have hangovers still drink. Speaking for myself, pain is anathema to me and I avoid it like the fucking plague, so I would have quit drinking after my first hangover.
Being mean is the breast. I am a mean-spirited creature. I have no shred of compassion or empathy for my fellow humans. If you do not belong to the rather exclusive subset of humanity that is defined as "Adrian, his friends and his family", your pain means nothing to me. Let's illustrate this trait with an example. There was this one time when an old lady was going around selling tissue paper at the hawker center where my friend and I were eating. Now, a packet of tissue papers usually costs $0.20 in Singapore. This old lady was selling tissue paper at, for the sake of argument (because I forget the exact price), $3.00 for 5 packets. It does not take a mathematical genius to see that the tissue papers she was selling were grossly overpriced.
My friend bought 5 packets of tissues from the old scammer, and I asked her why the fuck she did that for. Her reply was that the scammer was old. I did not get it and I told her so. I told my friend that it's her business if she's old, but why does that excuse her trying to cheat me of my money? She seemed a trifle shocked at my words for a while, then she assumed that I was just kidding and laughed. I failed to see the humour, since I was being perfectly serious, and I told her so, but she just laughed and went "oh, Adrian" or something like that. That particular phrase (and others like it) has become rather familiar to me over the years. People are weird. Someday, I shall buy, like, a ton of tissue papers at the normal price and get someone to make me over into an old person. Then I shall go to the places where these scammers sell tissue paper and sell mine at $2.00 for 5 packets or something.
Man, that would be so tits.
Being rational is the breast. It's a coincidence that the Big Fuck
recently posted an entry about his religion
, because Injenue
, MrToe and I got to talking about it yesterday over some drinks.
Now, I am a forgetful sort of fellow, so some parts may not be 100% accurate. Also, I am an inventive bugger, so some parts (those that I could not remember, anyway) may be made up. Furthermore, I am a hypocrite, so some parts may not even reflect my true opinions.
Injenue is a fundamentalist Christian. Now now, before you idiots go into paroxysms of disgust, allow me to say that, like the Big Fuck, Injenue is a pretty cool guy for a Christian, just as MrToe is a cool atheist. I define "cool" where religion is concerned as being tolerant of the views of others and not trying to force other people to believe as you do. If you disagree with me, fuck you, your opinions don't matter. Anyway, during our discussion yesterday, I argued on the side of the motherfucking atheists, because although I believe in the existence of God (more on that
later), I tend to sympathise more with atheists in arguments. This is because on the whole, their arguments tend to be more logical than those of their theist counterparts, and God knows I worship logic.
You see, in the past, Injenue and I had already discussed the issue of "if God is good as well as omnipotent, why does evil exist?" So yesterday, he was telling me that he had read this book offering a good solution to the conundrum, which was that evil exists because God gave us free will. We chose
to bring evil into the world, in other words. Naturally, I replied that God's omnipotence, of which omniscience is a necessary corollary for obvious reasons, by definition precludes the existence of free will.
Injenue then said that the book explained this as well by proposing that God, in deciding to allow us free will, also removed His own omniscience. If he had let it go at that, I would have accepted the argument as a plausible one. However, Injenue then proceeded to label that as a "flaw" in the argument, saying that it lessens God if He is no longer omniscient. I then found it necessary to explain (again) to him that since God knows all the choices you will make and God created the universe in such a way that you would make those choices, then there is no free will.
Injenue reverted to the old fallacious argument that God knows what choices you will make, but He does not make them for you. In order to make my point clearer, I then gave the example of the original sin in a series of propositions with which he could either agree or disagree. Well, there was a lot more meandering before I did that, but that is neither here nor there.
1. God is both omnipotent and omniscient.
2. Omnipotence and omniscience are, by definition, unlimited.
3. Since I am neither omnipotent and omniscient, if I can think of something, God can think of it too, and what's more, He can make it come to pass.
4. From (2), it follows that there were an infinity of initial configurations in which God could have created our universe.
5. For the sake of argument, we shall group some of these initial configurations into 2 groups.
i) The universe where Adam and Eve have free will, but choose to sin (our universe).
ii) The universe where Adam and Eve have free will, but choose not to sin.
At this point, he interrupts me by saying that if God ensures that Adam and Eve do not sin, God is limiting their free will. You, my humble readers, have to decide for yourselves whether this is absurd. At any rate, I told him that his objection was bullshit, because by that same token, creating a universe such that Adam and Eve would sin when He knew beforehand that they would sin was also limiting their free will, QED.
Being neither omnipotent nor omniscient, I can still think of a few possibilities offhand where Adam and Eve would not have chosen to commit the original sin.
1. Don't create the fucking snake.
2. If it is absolutely necessary that humans be "tested", though I don't see the point of testing someone you already know the capabilities of, create them such that they would be smart enough to pass the fucking test.
At some point, Injenue raised the point that the tests were for our benefit, such that we could know ourselves or something like that. Well, supposing you're a parent and you want your children, whom you love, to learn to ride a bicycle. Supposing you're omnipotent. Would you (a) give to your children the necessary knowledge and strength so that he doesn't ever need to fall or (b) pass your children the bicycles and let them figure it out for themselves (as "tests") and roast those do not learn for all fucking eternity?
I think I can safely say that most of us would probably make more loving parents than this God fellow. At this point, Injenue would probably say something like Jesus had already died to redeem me, but I just choose not to take His offer, so I cannot blame God for letting me roast in Hell. But then we would come back to the facts that firstly, God's omniscience precludes the existence of free will, and secondly, even supposing that omniscience and free will were not mutually exclusive, it was certainly possible for an omnipotent and omniscient God to create the universe such that we would have chosen to not sin/accept Christ.
We argued back and forth for a while more, and at some point, he said that I "just didn't get it". I could accuse him of something similar (in fact I did), but I'll let you readers decide for yourselves just who isn't getting whom. After more arguing, Injenue said that God's ways are higher than our ways and that we cannot use logic to try to analyse or explain God.
Ah. Seriously, there can be no debate without logic, or else my argument could have been that the Bible is all wrong because farts smell bad or some shit like that. I guess the only conclusion worth drawing from the debate was that theists and atheists should both shut the fuck up about God or the lack thereof when talking to each other.
MrToe said that he doesn't think that faith can be explained by logic, and that he respects the faith of others. I feel pretty much the same way, but I am a creature of logic (God made me so, haha!), so if you wish to debate with me using arguments that aren't logical, I fully reserve the right to laugh at you and brand the word "idiot" on your forehead.
By the way, humble readers, just for your fucking information, Injenue and I remain the best of brothers, despite the differences in our putative theological stands.
Being God is the breast. As I was saying before, I do believe in the existence of God. In fact, I am
God, just not the Judeo-Christian one. Whether you choose to worship me or that other God is your choice (free will, remember?), of course, but here are some comparisons that could possibly help you with deciding.
|Claims to be omniscient||Is a wiseass|
|Claims to be omnipotent||Thinks he can do all types of shit|
|Inspired the Holy Bible||Wrote the motherfuckin' Pagan Bible, fuckin' A!|
|Provides no proof that He exists||Provides no proof that He is God|
|Caused the Great Flood||Used to wet His bed as a child|
|Got His followers to commit *genocide||Indulges in the occasional flame war on the Internet|
|Rules the Kingdom of Heaven||Is El Supremo of L.E.W.D., fucks yeah!|
I may not have performed any groovy miracles recently, but I'm sure you'll agree that I'm a much less violent and dangerous God than YHWH, eh?
Make an informed decision and take your prick, guys. Freudian slips are the breast.*Lots of examples, but check out Deuteronomy 2:34. Does that sound like the type of guy you would want for a neighbour? I think not.