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Saturday, December 31, 2005

Yes, I watched the movie adaptation of The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe. Even though I am skeptical by nature and am most certainly not a Christian, I have always loved the Chronicles of Narnia written by C.S. Lewis. This is due in no small part to the following excerpt from the 7th book in the series, The Last Battle.

The Lion growled so that the earth shook (but his wrath was not against me) and said, It is false. Not because he and I are one, but because we are opposites, I take to me the services which thou hast done to him. For I and he are of such different kinds that no service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him. Therefore if any man swear by Tash and keep his oath for the oath's sake, it is by me that he has truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him. And if any man do a cruelty in my name, then, though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted. Dost thou understand, Child? I said, Lord, thou knowest how much I understand. But I said also (for the truth constrained me), Yet I have been seeking Tash all my days. Beloved, said the Glorious One, unless thy desire had been for me thou would not have sought so long and so truly. For all find what they truly seek.

That was said by Emeth, who was a Calormene. Calormenes are a fictitious people in the Chronicles of Narnia who worshipped a demon named Tash. Emeth was recounting his meeting with Aslan (who is really God) for the children. The point that I would make is that if you must believe in a God, believe in one who says something along these lines. By your deeds are ye judged. That is a way better creed than, say, No man cometh unto the Father, but by me. Oh, and the movie wasn't bad, but I think it seemed a tad rushed. Still, I hope they make Prince Caspian and also Voyage of the Dawntreader, because I really like Reepicheep the Mouse. Come to think of it, they should also film The Silver Chair, because Puddleglum the Marsh-Wiggle is perhaps the funniest character in the entire series.

I also watched King Kong recently. It was a pretty cool movie, and I think King Kong was really magnificently rendered. You could almost feel the energy of the great beast leaping out of the screen. I think the reason why King Kong is such a classic is because King Kong is really the ultimate male. If you're a guy, you empathise with King Kong. If you're a chick, you probably wish your boyfriend or husband were more like King Kong.

Admit it. You all wish your boyfriend/husband was a huge, furry gorilla, don't you, you perverted women, you?

If you think about it, King Kong is really the distorted embodiment of all the traditional male virtues and flaws. I think on a primitive level, most women want a man who's big and strong enough to protect them from everything in this world that could hurt them. The bigger, the better, right? Big enough to, say, hold you in the palm of his hand? Hello, that's King Kong. Furthermore, women want a guy who, when it comes to the crunch, would give his life to save theirs. And yet, women don't want softies who will just listen to everything they say. Women mostly want their men to be a little on the wild side. They want their men to be hard, then soft. Lewd insinuations aside, you tell me if that isn't true. Chicks are usually suckers for guys who are generally perceived as bastards but who will be gentle only to them. Taken to the extreme, that's King Kong too. Also, size does matter, doesn't it, if you know what I mean? (Heh)

Men, on the other hand, empathise with King Kong because, like King Kong, men do have feelings, but they're usually unable to articulate them. In the case of men, there are dozens of reasons why this is so, not the least of which is the fact that men who talk incessantly about their emotions get labelled as pussies. In the case of King Kong, this is so because he is a huge, 25-foot tall gorilla and can thus not speak to a human chick. When there is a threat to a man's woman, a man is supposed to protect her, even to the extent of suffering injury or death in the course of doing so, and yet men have to put up with the woman's tantrums and whims and refusals to have sex, just like the chick in the movie got pissed and wouldn't play with King Kong.

When all's said and done, though, I seriously think that the reason why we love King Kong is that even though he may be a 25-foot tall gorilla who'd stamp on you as soon as look at you, he possesses a few virtues that humans should have, but usually don't.
  1. Loyalty. No matter how the woman treated him, King Kong still came through for her whenever she needed him or called for him.
  2. Courage. No matter what the odds stacked against him were, he never backed down.
  3. Dedication. When he decided on something (the woman), he followed it through to either success or death. Sadly for him, of course, it was the latter.

Even though King Kong is only a monstrous gorilla, and a fictitious one at that, I think those are virtues that we could all do well to emulate.

On a much less serious note, you know you're a real internet geek when during the first part of King Kong, where the girl had just gotten abducted by him, you find yourself thinking, "Man, King Kong should totally get internet access. Maybe then he wouldn't go around abducting human women. And I'm sure there's bound to be gorilla porn somewhere out there for him."
I don't know if I really want to watch the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, although I did quite like the series when I was younger. (Finding out the religious allegory just spoiled it for me)

I too hope Prince Caspian, Voyage of the Dawn Treader and the Horse and His Boy get made. Maybe The Magician's Nephew too, although maybe it might get a little boring.

Interesting (and kinda true) commentary on King Kong. I think King Kong is THE ultimate monster movie, a monster that we can actually identify with and root for. Although there are bits that seem quite implausible (I wonder how the girl didn't get her ribs or spine broken in the King Kong vs. Dinosaurs fight; all those whiplash injuries must hurt), it is a wonderful way to spend 3 hours.

"Sign up for hot gorilla pr0n!"
I read the Chronicles in secindary school. One of the scenes I remember was when they guys started having negotiations with the enemy. Somehow or another, they were planning to go kill the enemy during negotiations. Then the guys were screaming "Betrayed!" when they were killing the enemy.

I remember thinking how fucked up that was.
Good analysis on the big monkey! The last line of the film -I think it was- was brilliantly ironic:
"It's just a dumb animal. What does it know..."
Sadly, the 'noble' traits normally associated with humans were more abundantly displayed in Kong.
The powers of Google. There actually is gorilla porn! 0_0

Although, it's actually video clips of gorillas getting it on, hopefully to stimulate a reluctant male gorilla in the Audobon Zoo to start doing what a male gorilla should be doing.

Ivan: Dude, I can't believe you actually went to look it up . . .
Hey, somebody had to suggest the idea in the first place...
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